Wednesday, January 14, 2009

First: The Bloggiverssary

I'm sick you assholes. You expect me to come up with massively genius retrospective while I'm lying in a hospital bed having my arm pumped full of god-knows-what; giving 1/5th of my blood volume for testing twice a day...and wearing a gown with my ass hanging out the back?

Next year we'll do something really special...o.k. kids? If you like, you can do one of those "Hey, remember when....?" in the comments. Frankly, I've got a very short attention span still...and percocet (which is the current drug of choice since they don't want you to get used to any one particular thing for too long.)

Yesterday, I turned on TNT or TBS or who, the hell knows what and sort of watched it from 9:00 a.m. until Noon. And by "sort of watched it", I mean during brief moments of being awake, I was utterly absorbed. I'm sure I saw no more than 10 cumulative minutes of any particular show or 4 consecutive minutes of any of them. I just saw snippets (including some commercials). The thing is, the Doctor came in at Noon and wanting to look me over, asked me what I was watching. I proceeded to tell him a completely coherent story made up of snippets from three hours of TV.

(He didn't look at me like I was insane, so I maintain it was a coherent story.)

Time for a nap. I'm going to need a fair amount of energy to give you the story of the illness, but rest assured that (speed bumps or no), I'm on the mend.

Thanks for the support.

(P.S. Prooofreading is a luxury fot the healthy!)

13 comments:

Todd Wheeler said...

Certainly sounds like you're feeling better! Congrats on the one-year.

Janiece Murphy said...

Hey, remember when Nathan used to amuse us instead of being such a self-involved wimp?

Jim Wright said...

You expect me to come up with massively genius retrospective while I'm lying in a hospital bed having my arm pumped full of god-knows-what; giving 1/5th of my blood volume for testing twice a day...and wearing a gown with my ass hanging out the back?

Yes.

Slacker.

psssst, see if you can score me some percocets...and some of that lime Jell-O

Eric said...

Yesterday, I turned on TNT or TBS or who, the hell knows what and sort of watched it... the Doctor came in at Noon and wanting to look me over, asked me what I was watching. I proceeded to tell him a completely coherent story made up of snippets from three hours of TV.

The sad part is that the doc just didn't have the heart to tell him he'd was staring at an unplugged TV set....

Get better soon, Nathan.

Eric said...

And that joke would have been 2% funnier if I'd proof-read it first.

Random Michelle K said...

Ode to Nathan's Blog
The mighty fearless leader
Puts on his Teak Hat
Grabs his Toaster
And wanders onto the streets of Brooklyn

Oh Fearless Leader
Of the Universal Cellulite Foundation
Who guides us through Hijack Day
And Not-Sophie
Oh that Charlotte had no lost her way

And out of the wilderness we hear a yell
Well, it would be a yell if it was louder
And not so soft
And more audible over the clicking of the keyboard
Never-the-less I deem it a yell!

With his butt hanging out of his gown
Our leader marches forward
At least we hope so
For our eyes are closed in fear

Jim Wright said...

Dear Nathan's Doctor - Please make Nathan better now. I can't take anymore fucking Vogon poetry. Thank you.

P.S. It's OK if the cure is really, really painful and/or embarrassingly invasive or causes a nasty rash or hideous disfigurement. Whatever. Anything to make Vogon Michelle stop.

P.P.S. Also, could you have your friends in the cosmetic surgery department give Nathan breast implants? Because I think that would be funny.

Nathan said...

Jim,

You're outta the fambily!

Tania said...

Nathan, we have standards that you are not meeting. Floggings will commence until quality improves!

Jim, you live in the Valley. Go ask Mrs. Johnston for some Oxycontin. Apparently texting her for a cup of coffee is the preferred method of setting up a drop.

When I had outpatient surgery and was in a hotel room recovering I would watch Law and Order. Because I could pass out watching one episode and wake up in another and it didn't really matter.

Konstantin said...

Glad you are feeling somehwat better.

I hope you can remeber that coherent story from TV snippets and present it here.

vince said...

When I had outpatient surgery and was in a hotel room recovering I would watch Law and Order.

If I have surgery again and can't go home, I want a hotel room to pass in and out of instead of a hospital room.

Tom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tom said...

Yay! Nathan's back. (Uh-oh, that can be taken 2 ways, contracting or possessive. Suffice it to say that I didn't mean it the other say. You know, the way that's not quite as funny. Unless there be pics. Then I'd have to - maybe - see if I meant it the other way. With squinted eyes, in case the pic was TMI)