Mayhem! (Hey! I consider this a cheery subject!)

In a couple of weeks, I get to run over a car with this sucker! W00000000t!


OK, I don't get to drive it or anything, but the guy who does drive it will do it because I made the deal.

Yay for mayhem!

Today's Cheerful Information Slightly Spoiled.

The fact that nobody done nothin' in half of an entire state is somewhat tempered by news of an entire continent plagued by crime.

Today's Shiny Happy Thought.

At least nobody's shooting at me...or if they are, it hasn't been well aimed.

A Month Of Cheery News!

This morning I was driving in to work and there was some guy on the radio talking about how you could force yourself into a better frame of mind by just reminding yourself of a few good things that happen every day. Of course, my first reaction was, Oh fine, think happy smiley thoughts and everything will go right.

And then, I thought, What could it hurt? So I decided I was going to blog only about positive things for a month. And I'd announce it and I'd live up to it...for an entire month. I mean, how hard could it be? There's good stuff that happens every day. All I'd have to do would be to remember to accentuate the positive and eeeeeee-liminate the negative. One month reigning in my inner snark. One month of restraining all bitching, complaining, whining, and rending garments. And sure, I'll admit it...I figured I'd just post some short snippets every day with some positive spin and that would go well with working long days. How hard could it be?

Here, let me start. On our first day of production, we were shooting a scene in a grocery store. The scene took place all in one aisle and would be shot MOS, (MOS means "Mit-Out-Sound"--spoken with a German accent -- I shit you not), so we made a deal to shoot in a grocery store while it was open. We'd just take over one aisle for a while and everything would work great -- and we wouldn't have to pay to completely shut them down. So, while we're there, we're setting up the shot and a little girl, maybe 8 or 9 years old, comes up behind the director, tugs on his jacket and when he looks down at her, she says, "What, exactly, is the significance of all this?"

I mean, how precious is that? And how hard could it be to come up with one funny, uplifting snippet a day for 30 days?

So, I totally decided I'd give it a go.

So, I continued my drive in the pouring rain, but that wasn't really a problem since I'd left the house with plenty of time. And I got to my first meeting of the day with time to find a parking space and even pick up a cup of coffee on the walk over. And I got there, and they were expecting me and I didn't have to wait any time at all to get together with the people I was meeting and get things started.

I had 4 different meetings today with various property owners and building managers and merchants and...EVERY. SINGLE. MEETING. was like being served up a fresh steaming cone of dogshit-flavored soft-serve ice cream. And I stepped in a puddle that was shin deep. And people I tried reaching on the phone had taken the day off. And things I was told to my face turned out to be open to interpretation (not mine). And I finally decided to sit down and have a meal like a human being and when it came to my table, it was delicious...at least the four bites I got to have before I got an emergency call telling me to get my ass back to set. And some other shit.

Happy-crappy stuff for a month? I couldn't even make it long enough for the first post.

The hell with that! I like bitching. If I find that asshole from the radio show I'm going to tell him what I really think of his moronic advice.

So...Polybloggimous will remain a bitchy, whiny place for the foreseeable future. I'm sure Sesame Street has a positive, optimistic website if that's what you're looking for.

I hate late calls.

The normal way to schedule a shoot, especially when you need daylight when the days are short, is to have an early call time. You park the trucks at 6:00am, have crew-call at 6:30 or 7:00am and start shooting not long after sunrise. The sun is going to set by 6:00 pm, so you use every hour of daylight you can get their hands on.

We're not doing that.

Today's call was 10:00am. Gah! Granted, I don't have to get up at 4:00am to be at work on time, but I was still working at home at 6:00. And then I was on set by 8:30 to get the set dressers into the location.

At 9:05, I get a call on the radio: "One of the extras just fell down the stairs at the holding area. She says she's fine." I say, "OK. Make sure you get her info and pass it on to the paperwork P.A. so it get's on the production report and specify that she refused medical attention. And WTF is she doing showing up an hour early anyway?"

We spent the day shooting exteriors (in the rain), and then, as it was approaching time to break for lunch, two realities set in:

1.) We had one more exterior to shoot.
2.) If we broke for lunch before getting the shot, it would be dark by the time we got back from lunch. (Hey, remember that thing about scheduling lunch 6 hours after call time? Lunch was scheduled for 4:00pm.)

So we decide to keep shooting until we've got the last exterior done and then break for lunch. (Hey, remember that thing about meal penalties for breaking late? We broke for lunch a 1/2 hour late.)

So, we break for a half hour lunch at 4:30-ish. We're back "in" from lunch at 5:30-ish. (Hey, remember that thing about a 1/2 hour lunch that takes an hour? Well, it does!)

When we came back from lunch, we started on the interior scenes. This is what it looks like when you're shooting "Nite-for-day" scenes. These shots were taken around 8:00pm (photo credit: Malcolm Alston -- happy Graham?)

Between the people inside and the people huddling in the dark, there are about 100 people involved in this shot. They'll be aiming to wrap by 11:00.

And, OK...I admit it. I got home a little while ago. Nobody needs me huddling in the dark.

Update: They didn't wrap until 12:45am (I'm still not sure if that was "camera wrap" as in stopped shooting at 12:45am or wrapped, as in "last man out the door".) Regardless, today's call time is pushed to Noon. The list of things that this sucks is myriad.

Day #1 of 31.

Hey! We've got trucks! And somewhere to park them. (Well, at least most of them.)

My Web, v. 3.2

Here's a spider web I noticed earlier today. The right side of it is anchored to the side of our front steps and the left side goes to a little evergreen in the neighbors front yard.


In case these pics don't give you enough perspective, trust me -- that's one big-ass spider.

And it's got nothing to do with anything else in this post. I just liked it.

I'm pleased to report that our trip to Home Depot was ultimately successful. I'm not going to go into the details, but we encountered our share of clueless civilians and employees alike. The visit was more painful than it should have been and it took about twice as long as it should have taken but they're going to deliver the stuff we bought tomorrow and that's all I'm going to say about that. Let us speak of it no more.

After we finished our home improvement extravaganza, we decided we deserved a reward and went to a little pub near home that we like a lot. Unfortunately, since our last visit there, they've obviously gone headhunting for staff at the Home Depot. I ordered the brunch burger. I asked for it "medium - medium rare". The Girl Scout taking our order proceeded to tell me that "medium - medium rare" doesn't exist. There's either medium or medium rare; nothing in between. She then went on to tell me about warm centers with no pink left and cool centers with a little bit of pink and I decided the better part of valor would be to just order it medium and shut the hell up. (I like most steaks medium rare, edging toward rare; burgers a little more done; and Prime Rib should be hit over the head and brought to the table squirming.)

Now this may sound like a really small annoyance, but it got under my skin. I wanted to tell our infant server that she could show me any cut of meat and I'd be able to identify it for her. I wanted to tell her that I pride myself on being able to cook most meats, seafood and poultry to exactly the level of done-ness I intend to. Mostly I wanted to tell her to ask the cook to make the burger medium rare and then leave it on the grill another 30 seconds or so. But then I realized that the laws of physics might be suspended in their kitchen or that they might have some highly technical computerized cooking system incapable of cooking meat to any level of done-ness other than three or four pre-programed options. I kept my mouth shut, but I self-heated to...oh...medium rare.

GF ordered what sounded pretty good. It was touted as sort of an Eggs Benedict, only with a crabcake instead of a slice of ham. It showed up dry. GF asked if maybe they'd forgotten something...like the hollandaise sauce. Baby Einstein admitted that they had, in fact forgotten the sauce and s-t-r-o-l-l-e-d right off to let the kitchen know about their error. About ten minutes later, a guy showed up from the kitchen bearing a teeny little condiment cup filled with something that looked a whole lot more like French dressing than any hollandaise I've ever seen. It was the orangest hollandaise ever concocted.

We decided it must have been some sort of computer glitch...or maybe a nod to Halloween?