Friday, December 18, 2009

Nobody Ever Mentions Clement Weather...Even When It Is.

There's a storm headed my way and the folks on the news are...uh...
fuh-reeeeeaaaaking out! O.K. fine. We might get 6"-10" of snow...or 10"-15"...or 3"-6". You never know. It may go one way or the other and then we either get nailed or we get squat.

Those aforementioned folks on the news have been getting shriekier and shriekier about it as the day has gone on. I bought some salt. Yawn.

So, a little while ago, I decided to take a look at the weather satellites online, like maybe I can predict this stuff better than the guys with expensive haircuts. And imagine my horror to discover that they've been deceiving us. Snow? Hell! There's a big-assed green cloud headed my way. It's huge. And it's green! And it's headed right for me. (It looks like it may have already gotten all my friends on the eastern seaboard south of me. It was great knowing you guys.)

Here's a closer shot. Still Green. Still awesometacularly gigundous. Still headed right at me! What the hell is that thing? Some kind of gas? Locusts? A massive concentration of greenhouse gasses? (Damn you world leaders for waiting until this week to not really decide anything.)

Pardon me while I join the freak-out.

This sucker is supposed to hit around 10:00 a.m. tomorrow. If you don't hear from me before or after this crap hits, well, it'll be because I'm preparing and then exercising Escape and Evasion. In preparation, I'll be re-reading World War Z and The Stand. Those should both have some good practical suggestions.

Update: Saturday 12:20 p.m.: Zero snow flakes so far. Shoveling is extremely difficult due to lack of resistance of non-existent snow drifts.

Update: Saturday 1:00 p.m.: Rumor has it that it is now snowing in Elizabeth, NJ. Terror is increasing. Panic building. Wow...this is just like War of the Worlds.

Update: Saturday 1:24 p.m.: Flakes! of Snow!

Update: Saturday 4:02 p.m.: So, it snowed for a little while...not very heavy. This is what it looks like right now.

But the forecast still says we're gonna get as much as 18" by the time it's over tomorrow morning. Go figure.


Keith Wilson said...

We got a quarter inch of snow here in the great white north, and it's above freezing so it won't be sticking around.


Todd Wheeler said...

Anecdotal stories predict high sales of milk and bacon prior to winter storms.

If it wasn't a crisis, one might be tempted to surf away from TWC to something more interesting, like Most Dangerous Rachel Ray Home Decorating Tips XtReme SmackDown!

neurondoc said...

Well, here in freak-out-over-a-snowflake-land, we've gotten 12 inches so far and it is still snowing hard. That green cloud obviously turned to snow behind our backs. Enjoy... >;->

Janiece said...

I got nothing, dude. No white Christmas for me.

I'm actually okay with that...

WendyB_09 said...

Janiece does too have a white Christmas and she has the tree to prove it!


Sorry, couldn't help myself.

Nathan said...



(And it's finally started really snowing here.)

I could take you guys a picture of "dark"...but I won't.

I'll show results in the morning.