Saturday, June 16, 2012

And Then, The Goddamn Marching Band Showed Up.

So ... recently I was kvetching about how FUCKING NOISY IT IS HERE with all of the construction going on around us. And over the last week or so, the work has actually been moving closer and closer to our front windows and now it's LOUDER THAN IT'S EVER BEEN before.

But every night around 7ish, they break for lunch and we get a blessed 45 minutes or so of quiet before they start up again.  You know how your entire body unclenches when you know the dentist has finished drilling?  Well that's what it feels like when they stop breaking up the masonry with every power tool known to mankind.

Tonight, they stopped.  I was able to turn the volume on the TV down from 725 and hear it just fine.  Anon GF and I were able to converse from a distance of three feet without hollering.

It was bliss.

And then a FUCKING DRUM CORPS started playing right across the street.

FUCKITY, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK.
 

 Now, I've gotta tell you, under normal circumstances, I'd have found this highly entertaining. An unusual occurrence breaking up the usual routine.  But these ARE NOT normal circumstances.

The constant hum of drilling and jackhammering and concrete rubble dropping down a three-story chute into a dumpster with excellent acoustic projecting characteristics may have me just a tad on edge.  Right now, the sound of giggling children is enough to make me want to throw puppies at the offenders.  A car driving by with a Brahms Concerto playing a little bit loud makes me homicidal. The gentle gurggling of my coffee maker brewing a pot would be enough to make me throw it out the window...if only I didn't need a cup of coffee first.

You know that thing about unicorns farting rose-scented rainbows and pooping fresh-from-the-oven cinnamon buns?  Well he'd better do it quietly near my house or I WILL BLOW THAT MOTHER FUCKER OUT OF THE SKY with a stinger missile right up his multi-colored sphincter!

It's just possible we're losing it here.

5 comments:

John Healy said...

You lucky bastard! I have to put up with birds and lawnmowers, along with the odd loud car stereo system. The neighbors yelling at their kids and dogs barking at every one of those things. That band rocked the house!

Nathan said...

John,

Like I said, under normal circumstances I would have thought it was cool from the git-go, but my first reaction was to storm over there and tell them to STFU AND GET OFF MY BLOCK AND...and then I had a vision of myself looking like a really, really crazy person trying to get a drum corps to be quiet. (Holding back the tide with a teaspoon, anyone?)

Anyway, I got around to thinking it was cool before I tried to do anything TOO stupid.

timb111 said...

A peaceful marching band has you in a dither? Ha! I spent the evening with a 29 month old grandson who spent four straight hours yelling GRAMPA! GRAMPA! GRAMPA! at the top of his lungs no matter what else he was doing. And I can't rebuke him because this is the ONLY English word he'll even attempt to say and I don't want to discourage him, besides it is rather flattering. A marching band would have been a nice break.

Nathan said...

Timb111,

Give the kid a real-life jackhammer to play with for a while and then we'll talk.

:)

John Healy said...

Give him a drum-set, you'll be talking with your kid.