Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Stuff I Found On The Sidewalk. A Participatory Thread.

Item, the first:

I ran across this nifty little pair of sunglasses a month or so ago.  They're utterly useless and but I couldn't resist picking them up and I couldn't get myself to throw them away.  Then I decided to show them to you guys.  Obviously, they needed to be shown with something to provide a bit of scale.

Which brings up this question:  When you give these two guys the right accessories, it's obvious that they were total badasses; Name the currently-living hottie each would be dating. (Note: If you choose to go there, feel free, but any votes for Bieber will get you tossed out of the family; remember - badass!)



Item, the second:

Sadly for them, but fortuitous for us, preadolescent girls' tradecraft isn't very well developed, so I was able to intercept this dead drop clandestine communication. (Note to aspiring spies: If the wind is blowing your secret missive around, you're doing it wrong.)  Anyway, take a look.

The front of the little envelope with obvious code names.


The rear of the little envelope with cryptic notation







One side of the enclosed note. Is it a map?  Who are the mysterious characters and where are they being sent? 

 And finally, the meat of the issue.

What, pray tell, is G.R.O.S.S.?*   

Ginormous Ruminants Of the South Seas?
Girls Romping On Sudanese Sofas?
Giraffes Raiding Opthalmic Super Stores?

I WANT ANSWERS!

P.S. Do you think I should call this in?

--------------------------

*I tried scraping off the White-Out, and I tried holding the note up to a light, but the obliterated part of the note is pretty effectively obliterated. I'm assuming G.R.O.S.S. stands for Getting Rid Of So-and-So (initials S.S.), but that's not all that much fun.

5 comments:

ExpatMom said...

"Get Rid of Slimy Girls". It's from Calvin and Hobbes.
Your classical education has holes!

David said...

Lincoln would be dating Julia Roberts, because apparently she has a thing for guys who look like that.

Jackson would be dating anyone he wants to date. Jackson was a badass, even without the shades.

Oh, yes he was.

A.J. said...

I gotta say, I'm disappointed you didn't pick up on the Calvin and Hobbes reference.

You just got schooled by preadolescent girls.

Nathan said...

I maintain that if that isn't what the little girls were thinking of then I haven't missed the reference. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I HAVE NOT BEEN PWNED!

Megan said...

It's actually "Get Rid Of Slimy girlS".

Dude. You should know these things.