Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Stuff I Found On The Sidewalk. A Participatory Thread.

Item, the first:

I ran across this nifty little pair of sunglasses a month or so ago.  They're utterly useless and but I couldn't resist picking them up and I couldn't get myself to throw them away.  Then I decided to show them to you guys.  Obviously, they needed to be shown with something to provide a bit of scale.

Which brings up this question:  When you give these two guys the right accessories, it's obvious that they were total badasses; Name the currently-living hottie each would be dating. (Note: If you choose to go there, feel free, but any votes for Bieber will get you tossed out of the family; remember - badass!)

Item, the second:

Sadly for them, but fortuitous for us, preadolescent girls' tradecraft isn't very well developed, so I was able to intercept this dead drop clandestine communication. (Note to aspiring spies: If the wind is blowing your secret missive around, you're doing it wrong.)  Anyway, take a look.

The front of the little envelope with obvious code names.

The rear of the little envelope with cryptic notation

One side of the enclosed note. Is it a map?  Who are the mysterious characters and where are they being sent? 

 And finally, the meat of the issue.

What, pray tell, is G.R.O.S.S.?*   

Ginormous Ruminants Of the South Seas?
Girls Romping On Sudanese Sofas?
Giraffes Raiding Opthalmic Super Stores?


P.S. Do you think I should call this in?


*I tried scraping off the White-Out, and I tried holding the note up to a light, but the obliterated part of the note is pretty effectively obliterated. I'm assuming G.R.O.S.S. stands for Getting Rid Of So-and-So (initials S.S.), but that's not all that much fun.


ExpatMom said...

"Get Rid of Slimy Girls". It's from Calvin and Hobbes.
Your classical education has holes!

David said...

Lincoln would be dating Julia Roberts, because apparently she has a thing for guys who look like that.

Jackson would be dating anyone he wants to date. Jackson was a badass, even without the shades.

Oh, yes he was.

A.J. said...

I gotta say, I'm disappointed you didn't pick up on the Calvin and Hobbes reference.

You just got schooled by preadolescent girls.

Nathan said...

I maintain that if that isn't what the little girls were thinking of then I haven't missed the reference. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Megan said...

It's actually "Get Rid Of Slimy girlS".

Dude. You should know these things.