Thursday, October 8, 2009

Dear Asshole In Front Of Me At The Deli This Morning,

Before you bitch at the girl behind the counter to learn some damned English, kindly demonstrate that you are capable of uttering a few words in Spanish (or Mandarin or Farsi or Swahili or whatever) so that you may make the case that she's actually more ignorant than you are.

For that matter, why don't you attempt to speak English in a manner that proves you have a command of your own native tongue before you make snide comments about someone who speaks at least one more language than you xenophobic, redneck, fuck, you!

That is all.

We now return to sweetness and light and unicorns farting fluffy rainbow bunnies.


vince said...

I think the unicorns should be farting something different in the direction of the ignorant fuck. Then they go go back to farting fluffy rainbow bunnies.

WendyB_09 said...

I've long been of the opinion that everyone should have to work in a job with high levels of public contact for one day in their life. On the busiest day of the year or the busiest time of day, depending on the venue. A retail store the day after Thanksgiving or Christmas, a utility company the day after cut-offs, you get the picture.

In other words, get on the other side of the counter, walk in that person's shoes for a while and put up with the ejit customers during breakfast rush at the corner deli.

They'd never be rude again!

And ditto on the unicorn farts directed at the asshole.

Nathan said...

The unicorns will fart fluffy rainbow bunnies in the presence of all but the asshole guy. For him, the farts will be high velocity unicorn horns (well aimed).

Everybody happy now?

WendyB_09 said...

Sounds like a plan to me.

Jeri said...

It amazes me that almost every country/culture in the world places a higher premium on multi-lingual skills. We Americans wrote the book on ethnocentricity. :(

John the Scientist said...

Jeri - you need to get out (of the country) more! That's absolutely not true! Ever been to France? :D

Tom said...

Nathan, I think you are being somewhat more harsh than necessary. If you really want people to "speak English in a manner that proves you have a command of your own native tongue before you make snide comments" you will be restricting the majority of the residents of New York, New Jersey, Massachusetts, Vermont, and Maine (not to mention many of the Southern states, including Texas) from being able to bitch about the language of people they percieve to be "less than". Surely this can't be what you have in mind...?

Nathan said...

Surely this can't be what you have in mind...?

It can't?

And stop calling me Shirley!

John the Scientist said...

Tom - Not to mention the majority of the denizens of Cone'i'ut and Roadaizland.