Sunday, October 11, 2009

Spoilerific Sunday

I just finished watching House of Sand and Fog, kindly delivered to us by Netflix. If you've never seen the movie and have any wish to ever do so, be warned...THIS POST CONTAINS NOTHING BUT SPOILERS! Don't read it if you have any wish to remain ignorant of how the movie ends.

Clearly, people like to cry because Tragedies have a long and honored tradition. I'm not sure I see the point.

Here's the plot of House of Sand and Fog.

-The county evicts Jennifer Connelly from her crappy little house (because of an unpaid tax bill that wasn't owed in the first place).
-The county auctions off the house to Ben Kingsley.
-Jennifer Connelly meets Ron Eldard who --- leaves his family, gets Jennifer Connelly to start drinking again after 3 years of sobriety, and gets himself in trouble with Internal Affairs by threatening Ben Kingsley to get him to give the house back to Connelly.
-Lots of bad shit ensues.
-Jennifer Connelly tries to kill herself but Ben Kingsley saves her.
-Jennifer Connelly tries to kill herself but Shohreh Aghdashloo, Kingsley's movie wife, saves her.
-Jonathan Ahdout, Kingsley's movie son, gets shot and dies.
-Ron Eldard goes to jail. (He didn't shoot anybody but it's all his fault anyway.)
-Kingsley poisons his movie wife (with the pills I thought Connelly had used up), and she dies.
-Kingsley puts on his uniform and suffocates himself with a garment bag.
-Connelly finds dead Kingsley and dead Kingsley's dead movie wife and cries a lot.
-Connelly gets her house back. Ha Ha! Fooled ya. No she doesn't.


Oh, fine! Brilliant performances, beautiful camera work, lots of good technical stuff...Yada, yada yada.

This was not a particularly uplifting way to spend a Sunday afternoon.


Eric said...

Yes, but is Jennifer Connelly naked? Or does she have any scenes in which she's wearing something extremely tight? Or filmy?

How can you review a Jennifer Connelly movie and promise spoilers without dealing with the single most important point that a Jennifer-Connelly-lusting-pervert would want to know? Not that I know anybody like that, I'm just postulating that such a person might exist and might be willing to fast forward through all of Ben Kingsley's scenes if there was a sequence in which Jennifer Connelly was dressed as a French maid or naughty schoolgirl but had to change out of those clothes because her air conditioning broke down or because somebody sprayed her down with a hose.


Jeri said...

And whatever happened to your weekend multiposts? Those were fun.

(Personally, J. Connelly in a wet t-shirt? Meh.)

Nathan said...


I'm clearly having enough trouble monoposting (uniposting?).

Multiposting is clearly beyond me at the moment.

And Eric,


Leanright said...

I've seen this movie. It's FUN! About as uplifting at "The River's Edge".

neurondoc said...

Well, you've just convinced me never to get within 50 feet of this movie. Jennifer Connelly in a wet t-shirt notwithstanding.