If somebody doesn't get me some ice right this Goddamn minute I'll get it myself...I swear I will! I'm fat and I'm naked and that won't stop me! It'll all be on YOUR conscience!
My new camp is next door to a woman I like to call Drunk Neighbour. In the last month, I have been treated to gems like these:"MEGAN, WE SHOULD GO TO THE BAR! THERE ARE LOTS OF MEN THERE! I GOT A D.U.I., BUT MY DAUGHTER CAN DRIVE US!"- "YOU GUYS ARE ON FUCKING FOOD STAMPS!" - "WE ARE NOT ON FOOD STAMPS!"- "HE DOESN'T MAKE ANY MONEY!"- "IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT IS IN MY WALLET!""GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! I WARNED YOU BEFORE. I'M CALLING THE TOWN OFFICE." *gunshot rings out, although the timing may have been a coincidence*"STAY AWAY FROM THE NEIGHBOURS. THEY ARE AWFUL. I CALL HER THE BACKSTABBING BLUEBERRY BITCH."
Any neighbor who comes with a ready-made nickname (Backstabbing-Blueberry-Bitch), has to be worth whatever other trouble she creates.
Unsurprisingly, the "awful" neighbours are lovely folks. They just don't get along with Drunk Neighbour very well. I can't imagine why.
...I'm fat and I'm naked...I'll have to remember that. You never can tell. I might need it. :)
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