Sunday, August 1, 2010

And Now...An Overheard Snippet, Completely Devoid of Context.

Delivered at very high volume.
If somebody doesn't get me some ice right this Goddamn minute I'll get it myself...I swear I will!  I'm fat and I'm naked and that won't stop me!  It'll all be on YOUR conscience!

4 comments:

Megan said...

My new camp is next door to a woman I like to call Drunk Neighbour. In the last month, I have been treated to gems like these:

"MEGAN, WE SHOULD GO TO THE BAR! THERE ARE LOTS OF MEN THERE! I GOT A D.U.I., BUT MY DAUGHTER CAN DRIVE US!"

- "YOU GUYS ARE ON FUCKING FOOD STAMPS!"
- "WE ARE NOT ON FOOD STAMPS!"
- "HE DOESN'T MAKE ANY MONEY!"
- "IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHAT IS IN MY WALLET!"

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! I WARNED YOU BEFORE. I'M CALLING THE TOWN OFFICE." *gunshot rings out, although the timing may have been a coincidence*

"STAY AWAY FROM THE NEIGHBOURS. THEY ARE AWFUL. I CALL HER THE BACKSTABBING BLUEBERRY BITCH."

Nathan said...

Any neighbor who comes with a ready-made nickname (Backstabbing-Blueberry-Bitch), has to be worth whatever other trouble she creates.

Megan said...

Unsurprisingly, the "awful" neighbours are lovely folks. They just don't get along with Drunk Neighbour very well. I can't imagine why.

Tom said...

...I'm fat and I'm naked...

I'll have to remember that. You never can tell. I might need it. :)