Taking The James Lipton Challenge.

Todd Wheeler let peer pressure guide his blogging a few days ago and I won't claim to be any less malleable.  And I'm certainly no more original.  So here are my answers to these questions that originated...somewhere.

What is your favorite word?

Minimum. (Not so much as a word itself, but because of the way you type it. It's fun all there on your right hand.  Try it! M-I-N-I-M-U-M.  See?  Fun! -- and it sounds fun too if you dictate the letters to yourself as you type it!)

What is your least favorite word?

Fahrstuhl. It's the German word for elevator.  I don't know why I dislike it...I just do.  It sounds like a seat you'll never get to sit on? (P.S. The only reason I know this word in the first place is that when I was in college, some friends had seen a German sign commanding you to use the stairs in case of fire..Fahrstuhl Nicht Benutzen!)

No, wait!  Fahrstuhl is a fine word.  I don't hate it.  Maybe I don't like Inflammable.  "Inflammable means flammable?  What a country!"

Nope.  That one's pretty good too. I can't think of a least favorite word at the moment.  I'm sure there are a few out there...I just can't come up with them right now.  I'll update this if one occurs to me.


What turns you on (creatively, spiritually or emotionally)?

I'm going to choose to misunderstand the question.  For some odd reason, some of my best ideas occur to me while I'm in the shower. But I'll admit that "best" would be a highly subjective term when referring to my ideas.

What turns you off?

I'd have to say it really turns me off when people disagree with me.  OK, not so much when they disagree with me, but when they don't set aside their disagreement and just go along with me.  They should just acknowledge my superior intellect and defer to me!

But wait, that answer might qualify as a "turn off" for a lot of other people and I wouldn't want to seem confrontational here, now would I?  In the interest of keeping myself in the running for Miss Congeniality, I'll go with the answers provided most often by those arbiters of taste and refinement...Playboy Playmates!

The answer is: Egotists, liars, jealousy, rudeness and getting up early. (Anybody who disagrees with the "getting up early" thing is clearly wrong and should just defer to my superior intellect and...Shit, there I go again!

What sound or noise do you love?

Rain.

What sound or noise do you hate?

Car alarms. They're utterly useless.  Nobody ever hears their own car's alarm going off and the only thing they do is annoy the crap out of anyone within earshot. (Also, if they go off while we're filming, everybody thinks the Locations Department has some magic 'car-alarm-owner's-finder' and/or 'shut-it-off' machine.  We just wander around pretending to look for the owner until it goes off by itself.)
(Goes off means goes on and goes off?  What a country!)

What is your favorite curse word?

Fucktard. It really is the best.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Cafe-Bookstore owner

What profession would you not like to do?

Toll booth operator.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"Oh no...you're early.  We'll see you in 20 years."