Friday, April 2, 2010

Totally Stolen Content Day.

If you watch the movie Jaws backwards, it's about a shark that keeps throwing up people until they have to open a beach.

If you watch Lost backwards, you realize it's the same thing as if you watch it forwards.

If you watch Heroes backwards you realize it's getting progressively better over time.

If you watch House backwards, it's still never lupus.

If you watch Rambo backwards, it's Sylvester Stallone healing people with his magical bullet vacuum.

And repairing helicopters with nothing but a bow and arrow.

If you watch the 1997 version of Episode IV, Greedo shoots first.

If you watch Memento backwards, it totally makes sense.

If you watch The Lord of the Rings Trilogy backwards, it's a saga about a little guy who gets a cool ring from a volcano and spends the rest of the three movies walking home.

Totally stolen.


Eric said...

If you watch Star Wars Episode IV backwards, it's also the tragic tale of a brave hero who loses everything and decides to go into exile in a desert and take up farming.

If you watch Highlander backwards, it's about the greatest surgeon who ever lived.

If you watch Alien backwards, it's about a woman who takes in a lost animal floating in space and eventually returns it to its family.

If you watch Southland Tales backwards, it would make about as much sense as it does when you watch it forwards.

If you watch The Sixth Sense backwards, it would still suck.

If you watch The Usual Suspects backwards, all the bad guys get arrested.

If you watch The Big Lebowski backwards, Dude totally gets his rug back. And it really does tie the whole room together, man.

Eric said...

OMG! Blogger scarfed up my clever comment and my pissy complaint! Yay, Bloggervomit!

Nathan said...

If you watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, it's about a guy who lives around people who are all getting younger and then when he's finally really old, he returns to the womb and brings his mother to life.

If you watch Con Air backwards, it's about a bunch of convicts flying to prison. Colm Meaney is still an asshole.

If you watch Braveheart backwards it's about how the Scots lost the knowledge of how to make blue face paint and turned over their land to Edward Longshanks.

If you watch Survivor backwards, every week one team adds a person, then they lose a challenge because of the new guy. As they gain more people in their tribe, they get less and less food and eventually forget how to make fire.

Nathan said...

There's at least one "backwards" missing from my previous comment.


Some dude stuck in the Midwest said...

If you watch Episode I backwards it's about child slavery in a desert region, and there is no Jar Jar Binks to ruin the second part of the movie.

pininol - lunch consisting of panini and a bottle of Pinot

Nathan said...

If you watch Apollo 13 backwards, NASA has a broken space capsule in the ocean. Through a combination of parachutes using strong updrafts and centrifugal force, they hurl the capsule into the Moon's orbit where they're able to effect repairs. Then, they time things perfectly to rendezvous with the various stages of a rocket and booster and perform a perfectly soft landing on a pad at the Cape.

Then there's some bit about Ken Mattingly getting the measles which makes no sense at all. I'm not even sure why he's in the movie.