Well, this year's Emmys are in the record book and the only really important thing for you to know is that I've kept up my perfect record of not having won one.
Please tune in next January when I won't win a Golden Globe.
Good night and thank you for watching.
[This blog post has been brought to you by the fine folks at Dominoes Pizza. Go ahead and call them. I didn't get an Emmy and you won't get a pizza.]