However, I'm not one to rest on my laurels. Yesterday's events are yesterday's news.
In order to live up to my commitment to being your indispensable fount of wisdom, opinion and and insider information, I've heroically unearthed this memo from bp* to its executives, employees and affiliates. Click on the image below to see it full-sized.
*Note to bp (and to Gulf, I suppose): In the event it somehow fails to register with you as such, this footnote shall constitute my explicit statement that the above memo is intended as PARODY. I explicitly acknowledge and declare that the above memo is a FAKE. Please do not ask me to take it down, sue me, send me nasty notes, or arrange for me to be visited by people with bowties and bad comb-overs. Furthermore, I've seen your recent commercials and demand that your Creative Team acknowledge that they haven't come up with a better idea for salvaging your public image.