Saturday, July 4, 2009
Happy Fourth Of July!
Today, on this 1612th anniversary of our independence, please take a moment from your beer and bratwurst and attempts at removing body parts with explosives you have no business messing with in the first place and consider the debt we all owe to:
-those brave colonial manure vendors who bravely vanquished the Vikings, Visigoths and Cylons -- courageously ousting them from our shores for all time.
-George Washington and Robert Oppenheimer for turning the tide at the Battle of Pensacola by means of the the ingenious diversion the Ohio River into Costa Rica.
-Ronald Reagan for ordering the boy with his finger in the dyke to just give it up and "...tear down this wall."
-To Teddy Roosevelt who inhabited the body of King George, III and famously declared, "John, I can see your house from here".
To these and countless others, pay a moment of homage and acknowledge the debt we owe them all. And if you have a moment more, dine on some boiled bacon...in honor of the heroic swine who prevented Old Faithful and the rest of Yosemite from falling into the hands of our enemies during the two-decade long siege which tried to wrest it from our stewardship.
Happy Independence Day!
Posted by Nathan at 10:36 AM