ANYWAY. One of the things about Greenberg [the movie character], is that he writes these terrible complaint letters to companies for reasons that are semi-legitimate, but are also just STUPID. Like reasons that aren’t really worth your time to stay angry about long enough to find a pen and paper. And ever since seeing this, whenever I’m all “I can’t believe how horrible the service in this restaurant is!” I pause and wonder if I’m Greenberging. And I usually am. So I just shut up. Out of embarrassment.
I do this a lot. I don't really plan to curtail my Greenberging activities but I'm really glad to have a word to describe it.
Anon GF: "Honey, can you go pick up the laundry?"
Me: "Not right now. I'm busy Greenberging!"
Exciting Additional Factoid: When I was typing up this post, this spot positively screamed for an illustration so I did a search on Google Images for "Greenberging". Imagine my surprise when I discovered that a significant number of the resulting images are pictures that have been previously published on Polybloggimous. Note that I conducted this search before publishing this post. "Eh...Gendzier, Greenberg...they all sound alike?"
Let me tell you about two of my current Greenberging projects!
1. The Continuing Saga of Parking on My Block (Now Aggravated By Twelve Million Foot Candles of Quality Lighting).
You may recall that some time back, I whined about the parking on my block being restricted to people are prohibited from using it! I talked about that here and here. The relevant thing to note is that we're approaching the Two Year Anniversary of the beginning of my complaints about this. I've traded emails with my City Councilwoman (who promised to get right on that). I've been trying to get some action out of the Public Advocate's Office since roughly December. And in case you're wondering why this might be a stupid argument, not worth having, let me remind you that I don't own a fucking car! *
I had actually almost given up on bothering but my Greenberging the issue was reinvigorated when the school across the street (P.S. 20), installed Security Lighting. They put up a light every 20 yards or so and instead of aiming them down so that they'd illuminate the hoards of barbarians Attempting to Intrude, they aimed them directly at my window. I suppose I should be grateful; I can read in my living room by ambient light. At midnight. It's a lot like this:
I'm not sure whether or not I'll ever get anything done, but complaining about it has become sortofa hobby. (Also, I'm considering changing the name of this project to "I'm shall keep making P.S. 20's life miserable until they notice I exist!")
2. The New Project - My Anti-Texting Campaign.
Earlier today this showed up on FaceBook:
If you've just watched me jam my headset into my ear before I drive away**, why are you fucking texting me? Do you really think I'm going to pull over to get your message and respond? The whole point of the headset is so I can communicate with you without killing myself! Or maybe that's what you want?
Or how about when we are making plans to meet somewhere but we're not sure exactly where. How about if, instead of 12 back and forth texts, we agree to be in the vicinity at a specified time and then call each other to bridge the final intervening 100 yards? Or this:
You: wht do u wnt fr dnr?
Me: sup n salad?
Me: HOW ABOUT A CROWBAR ACROSS YOUR NIMBLE LITTLE FINGERS!!?!???!!
Anyway, there really are still instances where a little back and forth voice communication is still the way to go. Please learn to tell the difference.***
*Most of the jobs I work on rent me a car, so I'm not completely out of my mind.
**See (*) above.
***Michelle, reports on the progress, or lack thereof, of that Noah's Ark thing you drive by periodically may continue to be reported via text.
My sister texted me with concern over the Mass tornadoes last night. I didn't even see that she did until today. I called to tell her I was OK.
I thought I turned texting OFF! I told Verizon NO TEXTING! They said, "OK, no texting except from us to notify you that you paid your bill. But that's OK, cause it will be for free." Why they think I need to be notified that I paid my bill, I'll never know. So now I'm wondering how my sister's text got through? And if Verizon will charge me a dime. I may have to go back to their "oh so helpful telephone support" and ask them if they think I can find another carrier who will turn off texting on my account for me!
Oh wait, I think I'm Greenberging...
Well, now that I'm no longer driving to and from VA every month, the Noah's Ark updates (or lack thereof) will be sadly decreased.
I'm sure this makes you said, so I'll have to come up with something ELSE to txt you about, since no longer have the daily bunny update, or the monthly Ark update.
How do you feel about ducks?
How do you feel about ducks?
Is that lady at the gym still sitting down without benefit of a towel? I might be more spellbound by your observations on that.
See, I'm not going to the gym anymore--stopped when I broke my ankle. Hence the dearth of bunny messages.
extremely curious about the ducks. can I get in on that?
Michelle's in charge of duck texting.
Post a Comment