Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Take Me To Your Leader (Now With Hats)

Oh, I'm the leader? Who knew.

Thanks to Janiece, (2nd in command; do my bidding lackey) Murphy, I've been made aware that I'm in charge. That's right, I head up the Uniformed (Currently or Formerly) Counter-Intelligence Force.

Here I was thinking I was being all aggressive and vulgar and stuff just for the fun of it and now I discover that I'm really part of a Tax-funded conspiracy. And we're a big secret. That's why we all have UCF logos on our blogs. And we have T-Shirts. And we give them out to unsuspecting authors at super-stealthy undisclosed locations. Just a note to my fellow conspirators (or should that be underlings?), you all suck at keeping secrets. We're really gonna have to do something about that.

Take a look at the motto. I think our work here is done.

Edited to add: Keith Wilson, spouse of UCFer Kimby has made me this awesome teak Admiral's Hat. (Well he photoshoped it so I can't actually wear it, but I'm totally cutting out a paper version of it to wear to the next super-secret UCF meeting. And while we're on the subject, Michelle, you were supposed to bring the onion dip last time and you forgot. Do that again and you're outta da fambily.)


Jim Wright said...

We should all get super-cool code word names.

I wanna be "Valkyrie" or maybe "Crank Buster" or something cool like that. Please Mr. Admiral Nathan, what's my cool Delta Ki name?

Secret communications, don't tell nobody -> I'm-way onna-gay eed-nay ome-say ore-may of-way e-thay ax-tay ollars-day. An-cay ou-yay end-say e-may a-way ouple-cay of-way ales-bay?

Janiece said...

I'm with Michelle. Send some of that govmunt payola this-a-way.

And I also want a fabulous super-secret code name. Lay it on me, Admiral Nathan.

I think Jim should be "Buttercup."

Jeff Hentosz said...

Oh, Eddie Deezen! Where are you when we need you?

And, damn, I never imagined Maury Chaykin was once young enough to play a teenage hacker (btw, seriously, does anyone play "hanging-on-to-sweet-sweet-sanity-by-only-the-most-fragile-of-threads" better than Maury Chaykin? "Sir knight? I've just pissed in my pants... and nobody can do anything about it." --Dances with Wolves).

So, anyway, on-topic: Before you get to feeling all ordery and stuff, I feel I should take this opportunity to remind you, for the record, re the original FooeyU thread, of my status as a confirmed lone wolf with a severe allergic reaction to authority.

Naturally I'm more than happy to help out in a pinch, and perform any treasure-collecting and princess-kissing as necessary. I'll be there when you're in it but good, you can count on me! Until then, you'll likely find me in some remote location, seated on a throne fashioned from a stolen NYC trash can, wearing a crown of clumsily-hammered raw Latinum, being waited upon by the native FuzzyLoompa-kin population and meditating to the Music of the Spheres*. Good luck against the mooks!

* Britney and JamieLynn Spheres, most likely. Corporate-owned radio sucks everywhere.

Nathan said...

I vote we just stick with our mob names.

They're confusing enough

Janiece said...

But Murph the Mick doesn't sound clandestine enough.


I want Doris.

kimby said...

I'm still wondering about the cash thing....the exchange rate is not gonna hurt my cut...right? right?
Cause you know there was this really cool jet I was looking at. It would make it sooo much easier for me to get to where I need to be..the transporter is fine and all, but the jet is REALLY COOL!

Random Michelle K said...

Jeff, Latinum is a liquid.

Jim Wright said...

Latinum is a liquid.

So is verbal diarrhea, which is what Tankersley is suffering from.

Also, Admiral Nathan you idiot, you've just admitted to our mob connection, er, alternate revenue source. Good lord, man, let us hope that Tankersley doesn't notice that little detail. His powers of deductive research and intelligence gathering abilities are simply frightening. We must not give him any opening.

//Respectfully//Jim Wright (AKA Agent Buttercup), Chief Intelligence Officer, Universal Counter-Intellectual Forces (UCF).

Jeff Hentosz said...

Michelle: not on Deep Space Nine :-b

Nathan said...


Anyone who could ferret out the real meaning of International Hijack™ Day is sure to read the real hidden meaning behind our mob names.

Random Michelle K said...

Jeff, oh yes it was!

"I wonder who came up with the idea of suspending liquid latinum inside worthless bits of gold."
"Probably someone who got tired of making change with an eyedropper."

Who Mourns for Morn

Nathan said...

I just realized something. Since there are UCFers in Canada, the U.K. and Pakistan, we must be an International Cabal. So, we're probably getting paid by the World Bank...or the Illuminati...or something.

Random Michelle K said...

Jeff, you can't out-Geek me on DS9 trivia. :)

Jim Wright said...

Cool, 'cause I dig the Illuminati.

//Respectfully//Tfpt!//Jim Wright (AKA Agent Butterfingers), Unionized Cat Farmers (UCF)

Jeff Hentosz said...

::lays down King::

I missed that part...

Random Michelle K said...

Onion dip? Are you outta your mind? I *always* bring baked goods!

vince said...

Forget the onion dip. Chocolate. There must be chocolate.

Lackey/Flunkey 1st Class Vince, AKA "Speed Bump", Underwear Connivers Forever

Janiece said...

I'm bringing Cheeseballs.

Because they're already made.

//DisRespectfully//Janiece Murphy (AKA Doris), Unified Cheeseball Fundraisers

Random Michelle K said...

Do I have a secret name, or am I still going with Mishka?

//NotReallyRespectfullyAtAll//Random Michelle (aka Mishka)//Unitarian Cat Flyers

Janiece said...

Michelle, I think your name should be "Chipper." Hehe.

//WhatIsThisRespectOfWhichYouSpeak//Janiece Murphy (AKA Doris), Untrained Chucklehead Fembots

Random Michelle K said...

That's not a very secret name Janiece!

//Still Not Respectfully Because I'm Just That Kind of Gal// Random Michelle (aka Mishka aka Chipper), Utilitarian Cereal Fanatic

Nathan said...


You shall be known as Cumulonimbus.

//TightFistedly/Admiral Nathan (AKA Agent PassiveAgressivelyVulgar/ Uninvited Conger Feelers

MWT said...

Hmm... I should stick with something shadowy. I like shadowy.

//Dissin'YouAll//MWT (aka Spook), no such job position, Untied Cargo Footies

vince said...

MWT - shadowy is good.

//DisEnchantedly//Vince(aka Secret Squirrel), Underhanded Conniving Frankfurters

kimby said...

I like my name...The Warden..cause Lord knows we NEED someone around here who doesn't sound shady.

But i want a hat.
Nathan got a hat.

//With much force//Kimby (aka The Warden//Uniquely Comfortable Footwearer (UCF)

Shawn Powers said...

Sorry for being late to the meeting. I was (and still am) at the hospital while a parasitic being is withdrawn from an operative. The extraction is being performed in a civilian hospital, I don't think anyone suspects anything.

//The Friggen Tech Guy//Shawn "Did you try turning it off and back on" Powers

neurondoc said...

I'm off "visiting" another country, currently not one which has researched before. Perhaps I will be able to recruit (i.e., hypnotize or perhaps blackmail) some new members.

//Disrespectfully/Da Brainzzz of the Union of Concerned FruitHeads

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad you're in charge, Nathan. It's about time somebody took charge. ::sigh of relief::

So what are we gonna do? Huh? Huh? Huh? Are we gonna fight evil? Lock up the crazy buttmonkeys? Strike a blow in the name of science?

//Enthusiastically//Sr. Analyst Jeri (AKA Saffron) Merrell, Ultra Cannibalistic Fruitbats (UCF)

Anonymous said...

Does Eric have a code name yet? If not, I suggest he be known as only the shadowy, savage "Pygmy Marmoset". :D

That is, if They won't be upset by us usurping Their name.

Nathan said...

Well, I think just Marmoset for short works...if Eric is agreeable. (I'm a benevolent dictator.)

//Benevolently//Big Boss Nathan (AKA OrderingEveryoneAroundDude),Uber Castigating Fiends (UCF)

Steve Buchheit said...

Dear Uber-leader Nathan,

Am requesting payment of do's Tax Dollars you promised me for dat trip to dah previously discussed place ta do dat nefarious ding we all talked about. Please remit da dough to my account per previous agreement.

Steve B. aka Aloysius
United Command-doh's of Fortune

And why do I have to always wear the red-shirt? Huh? It clashes with my green John Deere hat.

Random Michelle K said...

I thought Eric's code name was Marmoset?

/Still Not Respectfully// Random Michelle (aka Mishka aka Chipper aka Cumulonimbus), Uber Cranky Female