Friday, December 5, 2008

This Can't Possibly End Well.

During my morning browse around the Internets, I happened upon this post over on Johnny Virgil's 15 Minute Lunch. It seems he submitted his blog to be reviewed by some folks blogs. He scored 3 stars out of 4, which means they really, really like him!

So, I'm going to submit this here blog for review. I'm hoping I'll be able to respond like this when they're done with me:

The odds of that, however, don't seem great. The folks over at Ask and You Shall Receive give themselves an awful lot more options for telling you how much they hate you than they do for telling you you're a winner. Let's just take a look at some stuff. Let's start with their Ratings System page. (You have to scroll down a little for anything to show up...what's up with that?)(And, how likely am I to inspire love when I start out by biting the hand I'm asking to feed me?) Two possible symbols for sharing the love and five options for quantifying my sucketude. I only hope they don't feel the need to invent new symbols for crushing me into the dust.

Next, take a look at their Submissions Page. The first paragraph is like they wrote if for my blog. They hate me already. Also, I could have just quoted from their pages instead of making you follow all these links, but really, take a look at their disclaimers. I'm pretty sure the small print includes something about them being able to take possession of my soul if I even use any of the same words they use over there. Damn, that's one bunch of potentially litigious folks over there.

So anyway, as soon as I hit "Publish" over here, I'm going over and fill out their submission page. I shall bravely take one for the team.

Two Notes:

1.) I have no idea whether or not they take reader comments into account but feel free to shamelessly comment about how much you all love it here and/or tell them the nasty things you'll do to them if they hate my blog. That'll be fun whether it makes any difference or not.

2.) I hope they notify me when my review is up because they take "4 FUCKING WEEKS" (yeah, I quoted directly from your page without permission), to get around to the review and I fully expect to have forgotten all about this by then. I hope they don't expect me to be checking in every day just waiting for them to notice me.


Eric said...

Nathan, why do this to yourself?

I mean, they're either going to say nice things you already knew (which I guess could stroke your ego), or mean things you and your regulars will disagree with and disregard. So either way ends up a nullity aside from possible ego-stroking or ego-puncturing, and who cares.

Honestly, I think their whole project is "meh" and "nothing to write home about," although I give them ten million stars for that awesome Grim Reaper in the lower left corner of their pages--that little fucker rocks balls.

(I'm not even sure what "rocks balls" means, but for some reason I felt cool typing it. Seriously though, it's a nifty Reaper design.)

Nathan said...

I don't know Eric, I just don't see a downside. If they love me...THEY LOVE ME. Maybe I'll get some 'o them stars. Or the one that says they fucking love me. How cool would that be?

On the other hand, if they hate me, I expect them to be creative about it...or if their not, I can call them on it! When I do get rated, I'll link it and we can all either glory in my awesomeness or gang up them. Either way, it's cool.

Anonymous said...

You mean we have to say nice things about your blog for a whole month?

Nathan said...

Oh c'mon Todd,

You know how things work here. If you wanna say nice things for a month...go ahead. Or you can call me names...or tell us your favorite tuna casserole recipe.

You are, however, reminded that I'd really appreciate it if you didn't mention any of these people.

John the Scientist said...

Well, I hijacked one of Jim's threads to show Bittney Spears's contributions to semiconductor physics.

I think that MWT, Vince and I need to hijack Nathan's threads for the next month to talk about the contributions of a certain daughter of Judy Garland to the field of tensor mathematics (a tensor is a matrix of vectors, Nathan).

John the Scientist said...

Li-za! Li-za! Li-za! Li....