I had a couple of posts in mind (which I intend to get to today), but some of the developments in the previous comment thread are just too important to let go by without comment.
1. We are now officially calling it "Nathan's Zombie Pancreas". If the damned things gotta be on the fritz, giving it this name pleases me no end. It also brings to mind visions of it trying to figure out a route to my brainzzzzz, but that may be carrying the imagery a little too far.
2. Michelle has found major biblical questions and answers in my illness. This is as it should be.
3. I want 10% of Janiece's lawsuit against the flower people for sending me a "faith-based" balloon (I giggle just thinking about it). (The flowers are still really pretty.)
More later.
BTW - There's some good signs this morning, not the least of them being that I feel well enough to be pissed off at some people today and I intend to rant about the assholes later this morning.
12 comments:
Janiece's flowers are much prettier than the pix shows. About 60% of the buds haven't opened; they will only get better.
Anon GF
A new Nathan Rant (TM) upcoming? Yay for feeling good enough to get pissed off!
"...I intend to rant about the assholes later..."
Custodians who wax the floor at 2:30 a.m., beware!
Lab techs who can't find a vein in less than six tries, en garde!
Hospital cooks whose meatloaf is indistinguishable from their chocolate pudding (or worse, butterscotch), waaaaaaaaa-atch out!
Looking forward to it.
Hee! I love it when Nathan is amused AND when he's pissed off. Things just get a ton more colorful at that point. And that's as it should be. :)
Nathan, I've decided not to sue.
Partly because I'm trying to be less screechy about religion, but mostly because it is funny - and hospital recovery requires all the funny it can get.
Ah, irony, how you amuse me!
Glad you're feeling better, and can't wait for you to get all Ranty McRant again!
G-d and the Pancreas
G-d looked down at a blob of mud
Reached out a hand into a tub
Of dust and water and made a man
Shaped and left him in the sun to tan
While the mud dried G-d made various parts
With a couple mistakes and a few false starts
Don't mention the appendix if you know what's good
Nor the coccyx or similar things under the hood
Of the pancreas G-d just wasn't quite sure
The glandular system one can't just ignore
Insulin, glucagon, and somatostatin
Regulate blood surgars like General Patton
Go this way! Go that way!
Enzymes get on the ball!
Into the small intestines
Digest food large and small!
And G-d looked at man there
Stretched out in the sun
Just tweak this here pancreas
And now I am done
But sometimes things go wrong
And errors occur
Necrotic pancreas tissue
Just isn't much fun
But it's a self-healing system
Created by G-d
So you just must be patient
P'haps dream about Norway
While waiting for healing
Perhaps read a book
But really we'd rather
Watch your verbal left hook
So dear mister pancreas
Please hurry and heal
Zombies just aren't cool
And Nathan really wants a meal
To Anyone Who Ever Felt Envious of Nathan for Any Reason Whatsoever
You wouldn't have wanted the weeks he has
Spent laid up with a necrotic pan-cre-as.
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(If Michelle can be the Dorothy Parker of the interwebz, I want to be the Ogden Nash.)
Dorothy Parker?
I thought I was the Vogon poet of the UCF?
Glad you're doing better, 'cause we really need less Vogon poetry and more ranting.
Sorry, Michelle. In my opinion you're just not awful enough to be a Vogon poet. You have to do much, much worse. But whatever you say. XD
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Zombie.
Zombie who?
Zombies make honey, others are queens!
___________________________
What about a message from the National Pancreas Association?
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