Tuesday, March 23, 2010

T.V. In India Has To Be The Awesomest T.V. IN THE WORLD!

Here in 'Murika, there are a bunch of reality shows  The consequences of losing aren't all that dire.  If you get kicked off of American Idol, you don't get to be a pop star, but odds are you wouldn't have been one anyway.  If you get voted off of Survivor, you move out of the wilderness and into a luxury hotel and then, every couple of days you show up to watch the other guys snipe at each other.  If you're on Wife Swap, you might become a pariah. (O.K., maybe that's a bad example.)

But what happens when you lose a dare on Indian T.V.?  THEY FUCKING KILL YOU!!111!!ll!

I may botch the details on this since I'm completely stealing the story from Times Online, and I tried watching the video, but couldn't understand any of what they were saying, but let me give it a shot. 

Some show has a tantric guru and the head of the Indian Rationalist Association on as guests.  Guru guy says, "I can KILL you using only my mystical powers" and Rationalist guy responds, “Go on then — kill me.”  So then Guru guy massages Rationalist guy's head and flings water at him and tries to shave his jacket with a pocketknife and, OMG, Rationalist guy TOTALLY DOESN'T DIE.

Guru guy makes excuses...and here's where Indian T.V. gets its awesome from; Whoever is in charge decides to stay live with this and CANCELS the rest of the day's programming.

Eventually, Guru guy says he needs it to be night and they need to be outside and...and...and...Rationalist guy says, "Hey, I can come back".  AND HE DOES.  And the channel carried that live too!

Indian T.V. is the Awesomest T.V. in the world and I want to take it home and hug it and kiss it and squeeze it and call it George!


Eric said...

The third attempt didn't go as smoothly, though ratings were HUGE on the rerun:

GURU: I can kill you with only my mystic powers! [Mumbled: (Andthisknife.)]

RATIONALIST: Sure, go ahead and tr--wait, what was that last bit?

GURU: No takebacks!

[queue theme music from Psycho]

Jim Wright said...

Then there was the forth episode:

Rationalist Guy: Let's see if your mystical super powers can protect you from this gun...

GURU: You brought a gun to a mystical super power fight?z

Rationalist Guy: Bang

Surds: what you get if you eat a lot of soap.