Wednesday, January 16, 2008

I'm no lawbreaker




In accordance with The International Internet Code of Conduct, Section XII, Subsection III, Paragraph II, stating that "all websites of whatever content or media, now known or hereafter devised, shall contain a minimum of one (1) picture of a cat within thirty (30) days of inception."

I present Widget!

To the extent that any cat can be said to answer to their names, Widget is equally responsive to: The Widge, Widger, Widgerific, Squidge, Squidge-girl, Squishy, Tank, The Barge, and What the Fuck. The last must be yelled at hi decibels after hearing something crash in the kitchen...after which, Widget comes flying into the room (stopping 4 feet beyond where she meant to) and stares at you with a proud look that I interpret as "You wanted that stuff on the floor, didn't you?"

What you can't tell from the picture are 2 things:

1. Widget is a very fat cat. Her weight is accentuated by her freakishly squat legs and small frame.

2. Widget is incompetent...at being a cat. She falls short of things she leaps for. She rolls off of furniture while sleeping and always looks around trying to figure out who pushed her. Most cats are able to walk on a dresser or other piece of furniture and delicately pick their way through any items that might be there. Widget just takes the shortest path without regard for what gets knocked down.

Having said all that, she's very entertaining.

Update: I have just been reminded that, on occasion, she is also known as Stink-but and Dingleberry-Cat.

10 comments:

Jeri said...

Oooh, then I have a problem with my website. I've been blogging for a year and a half and have *never* posted a cat picture. I hope I don't get caught by the picture police.

Widget WTF is an adorable cat - and isn't entertainment what our furry friends are all about anyway?

MWT said...

Yay Widget! :)

Janiece Murphy said...

Nathan, I understand about incompetent pets...Boogie routinely falls up the staris, runs into walls, and only has about a 20% success rate when trying to catch things in the air. A complete klutz. But an entertaining one.

Jim Wright said...

Best thing for cat entertainment? Hardwood floors.

We have an automatic feeder, which emits four loud beep before it dispenses the dried food. This happens 6 times a day, and the cats would make Pavlov proud. No matter where they are in the house when that beeping goes off - they charge though the house at full speed towards the feeder - and it's assholes and elbows when they hit the hardwood floors. You'd think they'd learn, but no. Stupid, the white one, has actually knocked himself out by sliding headfirst into the wall at high speed. Next day, same shit.

Nathan said...

One thing my cats can do is smell ice cream. Open the container and they come running.

Michelle K said...

HEY!

I thought you said you weren't going to have your own blog!

You LIED to me!

(sniff)

(pout)

Cute cat though.

Nathan said...

Michelle,

I copped to being a liar. Guilty as charged. I just have to figure out how to do it without pissing off current future or past employers.

Stated clearly: I don't want to be that chick who graduates Cum Laude and can't get a job because I posted pictures of me lifting my shirt at Mardi Gras...(which probably wouldn't be a problem with my man-boobs, but once you chomp your teeth into a simile, its hard to let go).

Tania said...

Widget is adorable.

Shawn Powers said...

Huh, I guess I broke the cat rule too. Looking through my archives, the only cat photo I have is This one, which was unknowingly prompted by Scalzi. Or Scalvi. I forget which.

Eric said...

Jim's step-by-step guide to adding a comments feed to your blog, better than anything I could write, can be found here.

(For those of you wondering: thanks to internet magic, this comment isn't really a non sequitur or hijack. Now move along.)