Let the MultiPost begin...
We'll start with a Douglas Adams quote. Hey, you can't go wrong with Douglas Adams.
- There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
More on a Saturday Morning...
So, I was just poking around at Shawn's Cerebrum, and I felt the need to leave a comment. It took me like fifteen minutes to write a paragraph. I am Vocabularily Challenged. There was a particular adverb I wanted to use. It was right there at the tip of my Medula Oblongata, but it refused to reveal itself to me. Finally, in a moment of clarity, the clouds parted; the sun shined through, spearing my eye, the angels sang their heavenly chorus. Debilitatingly, was the word I was searching for. Shawn's comment SpellCheck told me I was a crappy speller. It looked right to me. I went to Ask.com. (I find that Ask.com does a better job when I type in "Define ______" than most other search engines. It suggests better spelling more often that bears a resemblance to what I'm looking for). So anyway, Ask.com told me I was not deficient in my Spell-Fu. Shawn's comment window continued to put that ugly red line under the word. As is my wont, I chose to decide that I was right and ignore this blot on my intellect.
And another thing. Shawn's video posts are inspiring me to (possibly), follow his example. I'll be getting up at 0'dark-thirty every day, starting next week. (Right now the alarm goes off at 5:30 a.m. for leaving the house at 7:00 a.m.) I'll be getting up earlier soon. Why? I need an hour or more in the morning to become vaguely human.
I don't speak in the morning. Even more important than that is that I don't repond to speech in the morning. My mother use to tell me that when I was 6, I'd drag my ass into the kitchen in the morning and she was able to translate my inarticulate grunted response to "Do you want Cocoa Puffs or Quisp this morning?"
So, anyway, back to the point. Shawn recently posted a bunch of videos of himself talking to the camera before his first cup of coffee. (Here they are.) First of all I couldn't believe how brave he was to post those things. I know he wasn't coherent while recording them. I have doubts about his coherence when he actually hit the publish button.
Also, watching yesterday's video entry inspires me to think that I could post video impersonations of some of you guys...or at least impersonations of my impression of some of you guys. (Shawn would actually be really easy.)
I'm not saying I'm going to actually do this, but I think it would be funny. I'll think about it some more and let you know.
P.S. I already know that all of you would like to see me mortifyingly embarrass myself by following through on this threat. Comments on this subject will be harshly judged because it's just too easy a target. I will not be grading on the curve, so make sure you have your chops engaged before poking me on this topic. Just Sayin'.
My Attitude about Facebook.
I don't remember exactly when I set up a Facebook account, but it was a while ago and I didn't actually do a thing with it. More recently, there's been a bunch of Juicy Heifer friending going on and I'm happy with that. Then, Kate invited me to be a vassal and play Knighthood. (I'm too lazy to link it right now, but you friend people, get them to build you stuff and give them (fake) money to buy loyalty and make them more productive.) Given the time, I'm pretty sure I'd really like playing with Knighthood (sort of an interactive game of Civilization), but there's a problem. It's designed for the folks who run around Facebook friending everyone in sight willy-nilly. And that's never going to be me. You only advance in the game if you keep enlarging your realm and keep assigning vassals (friends) to work in your newly expanded marketplaces, garrisons, etc. You can never have enough friends in Knighthood!
On the other hand, Facebook has resulted in me reconnecting with a few real-life friends from college and one I mentioned having worked with in Seattle a few years back.
Which brings me to this. Jeri, I can, with a fair degree of confidence, state that Mark (the aforementioned work friend in Seattle), is not a stalker, axe-murderer, or fiend of any sort. I had a meal or two at his house with his family and they seem completely normal and safe. Mark, I've been talking to Jeri online for quite a few months now and a few other people I talk to regularly online have actually met her in person. While full UCF membership is closed, I believe we came up with some sort of Adjunct Junior Space Ranger version some time ago. (You'll have to search the archives because I'm way too lazy to search and link stuff).
Anyway, the point is...if at some future date there were to be another UCFish link created, I can pretty much vouch for Mark, but as far as Jeri is concerned, it's entirely possible that she's a dangerous, psychopathic, deranged, zombie...posing as the mild PG-13 personna with the normal home-life and growing boys she claims to be. Her husband seems totally safe from what I've been able to deduce, but I'm not making any guarantees where Jeri's concerned.
Legal Disclaimer: Polybloggimous bears no responsibility for for any decisions made by its readers based on anything actually said or percieved to have been said here. As always, (cribbed from a great weather map over on John's Site), Use for information purposes only. DO NOT USE FOR LIFE AND DEATH DECISIONS.
There's a high probability that that line is going up on my banner next time I make a new one.
And Another Thing...
If someone wants to photoshop a UCFish, I think that would be pretty funny.
This Week In Text Messaging...
-Wazzup! It's Kate. Have a great pizza incident-free day!
-Hello, Nathan. You know you'll be getting these all day, right?
-Levitate the dragon, but still drink the soup.
-The super is going to be at least a half hour late for our appointment at Sterling Place.
-Ook! I'm a Librarian!
-Aren't we just a little fucking ray of sunshine? Cheer the hell up, dammit!
-Fucking flannel sheets! Oh, you meant paper sheets...sorry.
-Juicy Heifers say "MOO, Mofo, MOO!"
-Are you going to pick up your damned pizza or not? -Dominoes.
-Moo mother fucker, moo.
-Bitch shot me in the foot!
Does anyone detect a pattern? And what's with the weird message about the super being late? That doesn't belong here at all.
Jeri Made Me Do This...
It's a list of foods. I'll follow her instructions:
Directions: Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions. Bold all the items you've eaten. Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
(BTW, I copied it but it ditched the columns, so here you go with one long-assed list.
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
7. Cheese fondue
10. Baba ghanoush
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
44. Goat's milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
47. Chicken tikka masala
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
55. McDonald's Big Mac Meal
58. Beer above 8% ABV
60. Carob chips
66. Frogs' legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
79. Lapsang souchong
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
88. Flowers (but also why?)
90. Criollo chocolate
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster yes, Thermidor no
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
and 101. Stinky Tofu!
So, I think I got 59? I lost count every time I counted. Probably more like 55.
This just in...
I stopped at the book store, so I am now about to interrupt my reading of The Yiddish Policemen's Union to read Zoe's Tale by some guy or other. I really haven't had time to get too far into the former and I've been waiting for the latter. And somehow, because of Chabon beating out Scalzi for a Hugo, it seems slightly appropriate. (Don't worry Mr. Chabon. I'll be back with you presently.)
A final addition...
Unless something momentous happens, this will close out this weeks edition of MultiPost Saturday™. We just watched Across the Universe (thanks Netflix) and it was pretty damned amazing. When it first came out, I was all excited to see it and then some of the stars were on one of the morning talk shows and performed. Sorry, but they sucked live. So I crossed it off my list.
Amazing what a few hours in the studio can do, though. There was only one song I didn't like the way they did it. And I really want to know what kind of drugs Julie Taymor is on. She's obviously out of her mind...in a way that I admire the hell out of.
Before we watched the movie, I started Zoe's Tale. Sucked in immediately. I read fifty pages while barbecuing. Guess what. I've already laughed a few times. I expected that. Then I bawled a little. Didn't expect that. And then, I was laughing and bawling a little at the same time.
I've got to get back to it now that the movies's over. This may be one of those books I read in one sitting.