Saturday, August 9, 2008

Public Service...Sort Of.

Janiece, Jeri, Anne and Tania are all at Denvention. This means they're busy meeting people who I'd like to meet, listening to blathering about stuff I'd like to hear and then retiring to places that serve fruity frozen alcoholic beverages that I'd like to drink. Typing this paragraph almost makes me want to abandon this morning's concept of providing a public service to any of them. Jealousy abounds.

Anyway, back to it.

I know that if Janiece had the time (instead of being up to her neck in stuff I'd like to be doing), she'd have had an excellent snarky post about the Reverend Fred Phelps. Janiece hates Fred with a passion and has talked about him enough to get me to join the club. (I'll admit that I'd never heard of the guy until Janiece started ranting about him, but now that I know about him, I find myself waiting for his next despicable comment with glee. He makes me hope and pray that Hell is a real place because, certainly he's earned it. One can hope.)

What follows, is my own lazy, unresearched version of things. (This means you're going to have to do your own Googling for names and details. I never said I was going to do this as well as Janiece would have if she had the time.)

Well anyway, on August 1st, there was a Greyhound bus travelling across Manitoba. One nutjob changed seats and sat next to some poor unsuspecting sleeping guy. For whatever reason, he then proceeded to A.) stab the sleeping guy repeatedly in the neck, B.) decapitate unsuspecting sleeping guy, C.) parade up and down the aisle of the bus displaying the guy's head, and D.) start to cut off pieces of the guy's body and eat them.

I'm not trying to be flip here and I apoligize for not bothering to find out anybody's names, but my point is that I haven't even told you the horrific part of the story yet. You see, Reverend Fred has decided that his followers should travel to Canada and protest at this poor guy's funeral because God hates Canada! You need to scroll down to the entry dated 8/10/2008, 5:00-6:00pm for the relevant (?) part. I can't even figure out exactly what this lunatic is talking about.

Regardless, the Canadian Governement and/or Provincial authorities are trying to keep his followers out of the country by stopping them at the border. Unfortunately, some of his lemmings seem to have been smart enough to show up at customs and refrain from saying, "Hi, I'm here to torture the family of the guy who was murdered in such a grizzly fashion last week. He's dead because God hates you. Where can I exchange dollars for Loonies?" (Yay Canada for trying. Oh, and any of you who start babbling about First Amendment Rights should remember that the First Amendment is in the American Constitution and doesn't apply, that I'm pretty sure that whatever version of a Free Speech Amendment exists in Canada probably doesn't include anything about letting foreign assholes past the border to torture citizens and lastly, Fuck Off if you think Canada shouldn't do everything in it's power to keep Fred and his followers out of the country.)

I'll repeat that I can't even begin to come up with the invective that would form the basis of this post if Janiece was writing it. I'm sure she'll get around to it. In the meantime, she's busy and I figured you should know about this if you didn't already.

Apologies to Janiece if I didn't do this justice (which I'm sure I did not).


Janiece said...

I did not know about this, and yes, it does, fill me with the white-hot rage of a thousand suns.

Christ on a crutch, does this guy's assholary never end?

And, yeah, yay, Canada!

Jim Wright said...

It's bad enough that one nutjob kills a random stranger on a bus, but now the real fucknuts are coming out of the woodwork.

Phelps is certifiably insane. I don't mean Wackaloon-let's-make-fun-of-him insane. I mean stark staring, barking at the moon, underwear on my head, but I am Napoleon insane. The guy is fucking crazy as a shithouse rat - and if it wasn't for the "Religion" thing he'd have been locked up and shot full of thorazine long ago.

Yeah, his crazy bullshit is "Protected" here in the US, but once he gets outside of the boarders, well, it's a different story.

Manitoba is a big place (I've driven across it several times, trust me - it's a big fucking place). It would be a dammed shamed if every Westboro Baptist Church Nutjob were eaten by grizzlies, now wouldn't it?

vince said...

Phelps schedule is one of the most unreadable things I have ever tried to read. The frothing at the mouth is almost unbelievable. And the poor kid who got decapitated is going to hell, says Phelps, for no reason I can make out from the comments, other than he's obsessed with Matthew Shepard and in his warped twisted mind he can tie all this together.

And it appears he's going to picket somewhere in Vernon Hills, IL, which is nowhere near Canada, according to every map I've consulted. At least that's what his schedule says, although a PDF on the site says they'll picket at 3-4 in Winnipeg on the 9th.

Ol' Fred doesn't appear to like the VFW, Catholics, Republicans (he'll be in St. Paul picketing), Democrats, Lutherans, the Pentagon, the National Conference of Editorial Writers, Texas, Canada, America, and the World. And hates each and every one of us personally.

Oh, and America bombed them with an IED.

The amount of venomous hate these people had can be found elsewhere in the world, and I guess we should be thankful that they haven't blown anything up yet, although I suspect they've got too much ego in them to kill themselves killing someone else.

But they have the hate.

Eric said...

It's bad enough that one nutjob kills a random stranger on a bus, but now the real fucknuts are coming out of the woodwork.

Yeah, apparently in addition to Phelps and his crowd, apparently PETA is also trying to use the murder by making an ad comparing the whole thing to the way animals are treated.

Fucktards to the left of me, shitheads on the right, stuck in the middle with you.

Random Michelle K said...

Because I am brain dead and have nothing of import to share, I read, Oh, and America bombed them with an IED.
"American bombed them with an IUD" and thought the we were getting a little personal there, weren't we?

Nathan said...

Michelle, didn't you know that those things are indistinguishable from holy hand grenades?

Random Michelle K said...

Five, is RIGHT OUT!

John the Scientist said...

"stuck in the middle with you."

Well, stuck in the middle with the UCF is a good place to be. We have people with the skills to pick up the pieces after everyone else has self-destructed.

vince said...

The UCF will survive, the rest of the world, meh.

Jeff Hentosz said...

In the spirit of public service: If you're online tonight, you might be interested in having a tab open to:

Cheryl Morgan's blog

She's liveblogging the Hugo(es). Mary Robinette Kowal won the Campbell and Scalzi just won Fan Writer.

Nathan said...

Thanks Jeff.

kimby said...

Ok, so i am not really here, I am on my get-a-way weekend. But...I had to chime in here...seeing as i am the token Canadian.

I know that I said on Jim's Bolg that i was Canadian, and that i had a hard time hating anybody...

I fucking hate this guy. Every fiber of my being wants to go stand at the border and wait for him....You bet he doesn't actually wan to come into Canada and protest...casue while we are really nice people, when somebody pisses us off we are relentless.

It may have been a while since i have fired, but i know that my grouping would be well enough to get my point across.

Rant done....
I am going back to my vacation. And my beer, and my shooters.
Having a wonderful time...wish you all were here.

Random Michelle K said...

First person who breaks out in Gloria Gaynor gets a kick in the teeth.

kimby said...

sorry about the typos....
we did finish all of the shooters...and the wine, and am now onto the imported beer.

Random Michelle K said...


Even the idea of "Jim's Bolg" makes me happy. :)

Nathan said...


OMG Kimby,

You're Canadian? How was that kept a secret all this time?{/sarcasm}

I'm pretty sure we all knew this. (I know I've got about 3 lurkers who regularly visit from your bolg (sic). I'm really happy to see that we get to charge you with TWI (typing while intoxicated). Enjoy the rest of your weekend away.