Thursday, February 4, 2010

High Anxiety.

Frankly, I'm adither! (I have no idea whether or not that's a real word, but you all know what I mean by it and it should be a real word and regardless, it's not worth getting all adither over.)

A couple of things have got me in this condition.  First of all, as I mentioned the other day, I had to go get a new drivers license (which was ostensibly why I shaved my beard and that's my story and I'm sticking to it). Well, it turns out that I could have left the beard and worn sunglasses and a headband reading "Al Queda Trainee" and it wouldn't have made any difference because they'll apparently be using the picture they already have in their database (in which I'm clean shaven and still look like a fucking terrorist).

The problem is that it apparently takes up to two weeks to receive my new license.  In the meantime, I've got this crappy paper "Interim License" with no picture on it at all.  There's something that may be a barcode but I'm not sure.  Well, I'm supposed to be on a plane in a week.  And I have no photo ID now. (In truth, I've got a few photo IDs, but I doubt TSA will accept an expired Westchester County Parks ID that allowed me to masquerade as a Westchester resident so I could save 50% when I played on their lovely golf courses.)

So, I contacted DMV and paid them $25 to expedite getting the new license.  It apparently takes 3-5 days for some outside firm to manufacture the license and then they send it to DMV and now DMV will overnight it to me once they get it...but there are no guarantees.

I've also sent an email to the proper folks on the "Contact Us" button on TSA's website, so hopefully, I'll figure out how to get on an airplane whether or not my new license shows up.

P.S.  None of this guarantees that even if I do manage to get my ass to Seattle, that I'll be able to get Avis to hand over a car.  I'll keep you all updated on how this is going.

The other thing that's got me all adither is that there's a MAJOR WINTER STORM headed my way...or there isn't.  See, this one has all the prognosticators stumped.  The news is basically reporting that beginning tomorrow night I should either RUN FOR MY LIFE BECAUSE THERE'S A BLIZZARD STARTING, or relax since the storm may actually hit people south of me or blow out to sea, but if it changes course I should have some lovely lamb chops on hand for the lovely grilling weather.

And one more thing has me somewhat adither.  Capital One has some really funny commercials and I just realized that a lot of you live in places where there aren't any Capital One banks so you don't get to see the commercials. That, I can rectify.  Here are a few of my favorites.  (BTW, don't ask me what marauding vikings trying to get along in modern society has to do with anything, but I think there was a point when they started the commercials...I just forget.  But the commercials are funny.)

I couldn't find one of my favorites...the one where one of the guys jams a bunch of coins into his CD drive and starts pounding on the "Enter" button while the voice-over talks about online bill payment.


Shawn Powers said...

I actually had the same scenario with TSA and a license. Did they give you the old license with the corner clipped off? That's what Michigan does, and the paper thing is just stapled to the old license. TSA took it without any anal probing required. :)

Random Michelle K said...

Um... Why, precisely, were they unable to to give you a new license on the spot?

Every time I've gone to the DMV they gave me my new license (with a new picture taken every time) immediately.

That is--weird.

Nathan said...

NY has switched over to something called an "Enhanced" license with all the security crap built in. It's not laminated -- it's some plasticized thing with more anti-forgery features than money. You don't get it on the spot.

And they take the old one away and give you a paper one with something that looks like it might be a bar code. (They'd do the same thing even with a new picture.)

WendyB_09 said...

A couple of months ago Georgia went to enhanced licenses as well. Apparently now they give you a paper printout of the new license, with photo & security features then send you the real thing when they get around to it, supposedly in 30 days.

The saving grace is you can now renew your license up to 150 days ahead of time instead of waiting until the month with your birthday. Even better, if you info hasn't changed and they already have your digital images on file, you can do your renewal online and avoid a trip over to Driver Services.

Jim Wright said...

I'm with weird Michelle,

We get the enhanced license on the spot. Takes like 15 minutes or so. You do the thing, pay the fee, take the eye test, get the pix and then go wait with the other mouth breathers on those cheap assed killer chairs and 15 minutes later BING! the license is all ready.

Nathan said...

Well aren't you special?

Eric said...

North Carolina also does the "enhanced" thing where you get a piece of paper and have to wait for the real license.

Jim Wright said...

I am special.

I'm from the special state with the special politician, not some backward bumfuck place like NY. Jeez, Nathan, you've got expect this kind of think if you're going to live in a backward assed, low tech, isolated place like New York City (NEW YORK CITY! er, sorry).

Seriously, if I had to guess, I'd say it's probably the sheer volume of licenses they have to do - through a contractor to boot.

Jim Wright said...

thing not think. Doh!

Random Michelle K said...

That's just brilliant.

Require photo ID before getting on a plane, yet make it so you don't have a photo ID if you need to renew your license.

Well, I renew this year (since it's a "0" birthday year) so I'll see if things have changed.

Warner (aka ntsc) said...


You went to Manhattan DMV? You should know better.

I currently work for the Feds and have become an expert on I-9 forms, I'm also the expert on DD-214 and other similar papers.

We were hiring somebody last week who had lost his drivers license (a B1 in I-9 speak), we sent him to the Rockland DMV to get a new copy and he returned by lunch.

Random K, for some reason NY doesn't require a new picture if you look like the old one.

Ilya said...

NJ is definitely in the more advanced group than NY or NC. I renewed my license in 2007, and was in and out of DMV in what felt like 5 minutes. The license is of the "enhanced" variety.

Not sure what it means if I'm in the same company with AK and WV...

Nathan said...

I was at one (of a few) DMV offices in Brooklyn. I was actually in and out in something like 45 minutes.

But yeah...still waiting for any real evidence of the visit.