Or a rip?
Maybe a rat's ass?
Possibly a flying...?
Don't come here, because we won't really be giving any of those.
We're just not huge football fans here. But do you know what we are big fans of? Snacks! We loves us some snacks here at Chez Nathan.
So, today, Anon GF started planning the snacks for Sunday. There will be two kinds of chicken wings. There will be sliced cheeses, cheese ball, and various spreadable cheeses. There will be chips, dips, crackers, breads, pickles, olives, veggies...There's gonna be an embarrassment of snacks.
I like that. So, anyway, GF made her shopping list and made plans to visit the nearest grocery store...which is...uh...the less than stellar grocery store. That's OK, she was mostly going to pick up some basics and it really doesn't matter which grocery store you go to for that stuff.
I pointed out that that grocery store doesn't have a deli counter and you need a deli counter to get the good cold cuts and shouldn't she go to the good grocery store (i.e. the one that 3 times as far away) and get the good cold cuts at the store with the deli counter? And she said..."Why don't you go to the good grocery store and I'll go to the one right around the corner?" And I said, "O.K., fiiiiine. I'll schlep 12 miles (actually 6-7 blocks) to the good grocery store. Better give me a shopping list."
So she did.
This is the shopping list I was handed.
It is the entire shopping list I was handed.
Not only did I pick up all of the items on my massive shopping list, I actually picked up a few other little goodies I saw that I knew Anon GF wouldn't see at the grocery store she was
slumming at. I was even congratulated upon my return to the house on my lovely and imaginative shopping.
Roughly 11 minutes after we finished putting away our respective hauls, GF turned to me and asked, "Did you get beer?"
I don't see any beer listed on my list! Do you see any beer listed on my list? No? Me neither. That's because beer is among the absolutely huge list of items that completely fail to appear on my list.
::I'll go out tomorrow and get the beer. In the Blizzard. I may die. But I'll get the beer.::