Meet Craig, my future time-travel partner. It seems he's been running around Australia putting up flyers on lightposts with all sorts of interesting messages. The one that caught my eye says:
"I'm pretty sure I've invented a time machine. All going according to plan I'll materialise right here at 11.37am on Friday. This is just a courtesy note to make sure you're not standing in this spot at the time."I'm sure I can make a deal with someone who is this thoughtful. And not only is he willing to take on the rigors of time travel, he promises to introduce lots of other entertaining activities during respites in the here and now. Lookee here:
Could this be any better? On the one hand, I totally agree with him on the kite issue, (waaaaayyy too much effort to entertainment ratio), and I could take on all the cheese-related activities, thus freeing him from something he obviously finds odious. This alliance has symbiosis written all over it!
There's only one snag in the plan I need some help with. What with my expired passport, and time differences and such, I doubt I could show up at the right place in time for the rendezvous. (Hell, he's going to appear in only 11 hours and 3 minutes.) So, if anyone in Melbourne is reading this, would you kindly show up at the appointed place and time and ask Craig to email me? You will be compensated generously (ok, semi-adequately).
P.S. That spatchcock he mentioned had me worried for a minute, but it turns out to be "a chicken or other fowl that's had the backbone and ribcage removed in preparation for grilling." Hmmmmm! Spatchcock!
For a minute there were you hoping the spatchcock was some kind of Wenie Whistle?
He tries not to think about the weenie whistle.
The horror. The horror.
Y'know, it looks to me like "Craig" is a prankster or a performance artist, not the usual nut we seem to run across, and so I wish him success. I hope he ends up with a very nice photograph or video of a few dozen playful, cheery people who have shown up with their frozen chickens and umbrellas.
Even if he doesn't, his flier makes the world a little happier and more interesting, doesn't it?
He made my world a little happier since I had no idea what to write about until I saw the article this morning.
Also, I'll be all kinds of laughing my ass off if I get any response from Australia. (My 0.3% readership there makes me sad.)
Well, you know, if he has a time machine he could go back and file the application for a passport for you in time to get to Australia to meet him.
You know, if he was doing his job.
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