Tuesday, September 21, 2010

More Crap About My Hotel.

None of the problems I mentioned yesterday have been resolved yet.  I still have to hire Sherpa guides for the trek to a place I can smoke.  I still expect to encounter ghosts and/or Jack Nicholson in the deserted hallways here.  Adam seems to always be at the front desk giving me the evil eye with his exquisitely mascaraed orbs.

And I'm not ready to whine about work yet.  Hell, I just got here, for cripes sakes!

But here's one little thing I noticed this evening.  Unlike most hotels, there's no book in the desk or end table drawer extolling all of the amenities a guest might partake of.  No list of restaurants and shops.  No friendly note telling you to call the front desk if you'd like an ironing board or a crib for your room.  No list of area attractions.

What I did find in the drawer was the most passive-aggressive warning I've ever seen to dissuade me from going home with all of their towels and pillows.  Essentially, it tells you that everything in the room is available for sale and then gives a list of prices for every single item in the room that isn't actually nailed down.  The coffee maker can be had for $35 and the non-existent "Guest Directory" goes for $15.  In smaller print, at the bottom of this lovely note, it says that housekeeping is "responsible" for counting everything every day and if anything is missing, it must be because, you, the guest didn't feel like calling the front desk so that you could buy a new one of whichever item you took.  That being the case, the Hotel will be forced to charge you full-price for the used one.  Ah well. (It also seems to imply that the housekeeping staff gets docked for the value of what you steal, but that's another story.)

Anyway, I know they're trying to be all polite and "positive" about the whole thing, but I'd really rather see a note that just plainly says, "If you steal our shit, we're charging your ass".  Here, let me show you an example of how it's properly done.

This is a Fisher Dolly.
If you look at the base of the boom, you'll note that there's some writing there.  You probably can't make it out in that shot.  Here's a close-up.

Now that's the way to tell people not to fuck up your shit!

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