Sunday, April 26, 2009

Brooklyn (And San Francisco) Conspire to Fuck Up A Perfectly Good Sunday.

If you read the previous post, you already know how StubHub started my day off so cheerily. They're the San Francisco part of this post and I'll just take a moment to repeat that they suck. Since there isn't much else I can actually do in retribution for StubHub's massive suck-osity, I may just change my tagline to something like "The Blog that tells you StubHub sucks at least once a day". And then I'd say something clever and jaunty, like "StubHub sucks" as the signoff to every post. I'll take over the entire first page for any Google Search for StubHub sucks. (If StubHub happens to be one of those companies who Google themselves to see what people are saying about them and decide to drop by and make some attempt at, oh I don't know...GETTING ME YANKEES/RED SOX TICKETS somewhere in the same time zone as the game for a comparable price, then I'll retract my comments about what a bunch of IDIOTS WHO DON'T GIVE A CRAP about customers, their customer service reps are. I'll probably even say something nice. In the meantime, c'mon everybody, all together...StubHub Sucks!)

So, what else has transpired to make me all irritable and curmudgeonly? Let's start with the lovely lady behind the counter at Barnes & Noble, hereinafter LLBC@B&N. (Shit, that's barely even worth abbreviating.)

LLBC@B&N: Do you have a Member Card?
Me: No.
LLBC@B&N: Would you like to get one?
Me: No, thank you.
LLBC@B&N: You'd be saving money if you got one.
Me: No, thank you.
LLBC@B&N: Why, you'd be saving $4.80 right now on this purchase.
Me: No...I'd be spending $25.00 on your card and then I'd save $4.80 on this purchase and then I would finally break even after I spend another $200.00 and I've told you really nicely that I don't want your card and would you please stop asking me and let me pay for these books and I'll feel like I got a $25.00 discount just for not buying your card!

By this time, people in line were looking at me funny. Good! It's about time people developed a healthy fear of us short Jewish guys.

Then on the drive home, I encountered two of my favorite types of NY Drivers. (Actually, they're both sub-species of the "Oh, I didn't notice anyone else was driving here" drivers.) Idiot #1: I'm stopped at a red light about 4 cars back from the intersection. As soon as the light turns green, the jerk parked next to where I'm stopped decides it's time for him to pull out. Never mind the fact that there's only enough room for him to pull out and block me from moving...there's not enough room for him to actually pull into the traffic lane. Never mind that he honks at me and flips me the bird until I back up and give him room to get out. Never mind that if he'd just waited for me to go, there was no traffic behind me! Asshole.

Idiot #2 was the guy who was double parked on State Street. State is just wide enough for a car to drive around a double parked car. Once again, there's not a bunch of fact, I think I had the only moving vehicle on the block. So why does this asshole have to open his door into traffic right when I'm approaching so that I have a choice of slamming on the brakes or taking his door home with me? And then he gives me a dirty look while he stands there.

Last on our list, let me impart this lesson to the lady at the pet food store. When the customer buys $10.62 worth of cat food and you're out of pennies, charge the customer $10.60...not $10.65. It's not my fault you're out of pennies. I love how you decide that I should be the one to pay for it anyway. Sure, we're only talking about three fucking cents. Well, it's only two cents if you eat it. This strikes me as a really cheap way to fail at customer service.

So here we are at 5:00 pm on a Sunday that has just kept tossing things of varrying importance (or lack thereof) in my way. Every time I get my blood back to a light simmer, some putz decides to turn the heat up again. I'm going to avoid leaving the house again today. The unsuspecting citizens of Brooklyn have no reason to know my cumulative level of annoyed and I'd hate to become tommorow's Fark headline just because I can't get by some clueless twit with a triple-wide baby stroller.


cjdahl60 said...

Wow, Nathan - rough day, huh?

If it helps at all, the chocolates that you sent me were as wonderful as advertised. You have some good karma coming your way as repayment for your kindness to me.

Random Michelle K said...

If they're really pushy at B&N, a good reply is, "No, I don't feel like paying you $25 so you can more easily track my spending."

neurondoc said...

And if Michelle's response doesn't make them shut up, tell them that you have a free Borders card that gets you money back.

Nathan said...

Actually, IIRC the Borders card is even worse. They give it to you for free, but instead of discounts, you get coupons that will get you a discount but only if you buy more stuff immediately.

WendyB_09 said...

Gee, I've gotten to see several free movie previews with the Border's card. Kinda fun, the movies were ones that I might not have gone to see otherwise. But since it was a free showing and a survey card afterwards, I went, watched, and ended up liking the movies a lot.


WendyB_09 said...

Oh, and the guy that wanted to pull out into your path and there was no one behind you... would have waited.

You had the right of way. Like the police officer told the guy that pulled out in front of me one time (he claimed I was speeding) - I don't care if she was doing 35 or 135, if you were stupid enough to pull out in front of her, it's your fault.


Anonymous said...

But, Shirley the sweep of a certain pinstriped team and the insanely great steal of home made Sunday just a little bit nice?

My wife gets Borders coupons by e-mail, good for a few days to a week. Yes, only good for buying more stuff, but better than paying a fee. On the other hand, Borders will go bankrupt before B&N.

Nathan said...

I didn't see Sunday's game, but I was watching the other night during the walk-on homerun in the 11th.


Carol Elaine said...

Nathan, back in my driving days I encountered Idiot #1 all too often. It got so that I only had to glance out of the corner of my eye to recognize the type. Let's just say that Idiot #1 never got past me and I managed to do so without jumping a light and even waiting a second to make sure no one going the perpendicular direct to me was running a red light.

Ah, I miss my Escort and Saturn. Those cars were more powerful than one might think.