Thursday, April 2, 2009

The Return of Arnold Ziffle.

I think I can say, without fear of contradiction, that Brooklyn isn't world famous for its livestock. It may not be clear, but there are actually two different pet pigs in these pictures...which means there are at least two more pigs in Brooklyn than I knew about.

These guys were walking down the street in DUMBO (Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass), yesterday when I went outside to have a smoke. They didn't seem to take any umbrage at me smoking, so I didn't take any umbrage at them being pigs.

This all makes me realize that there are a great many people who can leave Brooklyn without it bothering me, and pigs are welcome to come take their places.

And I'm not willing to put a great deal of thought into it right now, but I suspect there's some crossover with my feeling that the internet bacon thing just has to stop.


vince said...

Are you suggesting that pigs are better than many people that we hear of or worse, actually know?

Nathan said...

I'm not sure exactly what you're asking, but I make allowances for the people I actually know, and all the strangers in NY getting in my way only get a pass if they move fast enough.

Pigs, I'll walk around.

Jim Wright said...

Yeah, but where do you draw the line?

First it's a couple of pigs, then a goat or two, then a water buffalo, a herd of zebras, a outbreak of rabbits breeding uncontrollably - then you've got to bring in predators and pretty soon you've got packs of wolves in Central Park and grizzlies living under the overpasses and great white sharks patrolling the river, and once the herbivores are thinned out the predators will become opportunistic and, sure, that solves the homeless problem but what then...soon the wolves will learn to operate elevators and prowl office buildings seeking white collar prey and once NYC is emptied of human life they'll spread into countryside and it'll only be a matter of time before them come for us all and the human race will become extinct.

And all because you, Nathan, don't like bacon. How can you be so selfish? How, Nathan, how? For the sake of humanity's survival, Nathan, eat a pig. Do it now.

Jeff Hentosz said...

Arnold Ziffle? Are you out of your mind? Those pigs are obviously Vietnamese Pot Bellies. A blind person could tell you that. Arnold was an American Yorkshire, the finest specimen of his kind until Babe came along. Here: compare the pictures with your imported New York street swine. Can't you see?

Dude, if this is going to be the level of your reportage on a slow day, I just don't know how seriously I can take you on the big stuff going forward. :-(

Nathan said...


You've been misreading me. My campaign has had nothing to do with saving bacon from your's had to do with saving bacon from the mockery that some people have been making of it. And I think I'm OK with wolves on elevators.


If you're taking my reporting seriously...well, let's just say we're all going to have problems.

Jim Wright said...

Mockery is the sincerest form of flattery, Nathan.

That's why the Internet mocks me and that's why I mock bacon. mmmm bacon, tasty tasty bacon.

neurondoc said...

Kosher bacon?

Michael Taylor said...

A few years ago, I saw a guy walking his 400 pound pig on a leash in the Fairfax District here in LA -- an area where, for religious reasons, bacon is rarely consumed. Then one fine summer day, a private plane nosedived into his apartment building, killing all four passengers and at least one of the apartment dwellers. Pig and pig-owner survived, but the building was toast. I've always wondered how that guy -- once he got out of the hospital -- managed to find another landlord willing to rent to a fellow accompanied by 400 pounds of bacon on-the-cloven-hoof.

Steve Buchheit said...

A Pig Oinks in Manhattan.

I smell bestseller success there Nathan. Better get on it. Strangely enough, success smell a lot like bacon.

John the Scientist said...

@ Natalie - h"Kosher bacon?"

Jim is going to hell for suggesting Nathan break kosher even more. :D

Of course, last time we met, I bought him an order of shrimp cocktail, so I'm going to hell, too.

John the Scientist said...

And stinky tofu isn't kosher either - the brine they ferment it in has shrimp in it.

But I think with that one, God already punished us enough by making us dumb enough to eat it. :D