Thursday, April 9, 2009

Here. Have Some Useless Information.

I don't think I've ever been to an Applebee's Restaurant before today. There's one in my neighborhood and I walk by it every time I go to the subway, but I've never gone in before. Today, I stopped into one because...well I did.

Prior to today, I didn't have any particular opinion about Applebees other than the fact that they have so much product placement on Friday Night Lights that they should have a co-starring credit. (I like Friday Night Lights quite a bit, so I'm more or less forgiving of this blatant bit of cashing in. Hey, I'd do it if I could.)

Here are three things I learned about Applebee's today.

1. If you read the teeny-tiny print on the menu, it appears that they're owned by Annheuser-Busch. This is probably meaningless other than the choice of beers they serve, but since two seconds of research reveals that Annheuser-Busch now owns every brand of beer you can possibly think of, this isn't really too much of a limitation.

2. They have a lunch special that goes for $5.99. You get to look at pretty pictures of soup and salad on the menu. It looks like plenty of food. The soup bowl, however, has a not-so-little hump built into the base which displaces about 1/2 of the volume you'd expect to find in the bowl. The hump isn't visible in the picture, but when you dip your spoon in, you'll find it a couple of millimeters below the surface.

3. They're really thrilled to offer their burgers with an applewood smoked bacon on them (I think that's the description but I'm too lazy to look it up.) Whatever they call this variation of tastes like sardines. Ewwww!

This is what I learned today so you wouldn't have to. You're welcome.


neurondoc said...

I ate at Applebee's once. Yuck.

Jim Wright said...

Well, you know, everybody has to try it once.

They used to have a fairly decent menu - and I really liked their oriental stir fry. A while back they just dropped it from the menu. I asked about it, the manager said, well yeah, it was their most popular dish nation wide - which irritated corporate HQ, because they wanted be more like some corner pub and the stir fry thing didn't fit with their corporate vision. I asked if I could fill out a suggestion, the manager said sure, but corporate was basically sick of hearing about it wasn't interested in bringing it back.

Roger that and fuck you. If that's how you see you customers, you are quite welcome to kiss my ass.

I've eaten there once since, in Florida with a group. I got outvoted and we ate at applebees, I got the applewood smoked bacon and ham something or other on chiabata. It was ass on stale bread so far as I could tell. Haven't been back since, and I no longer participate in democratic dinner decision, if I'm driving we go where I say, and I always drive ;)

mattw said...

I haven't eaten at an Applebee's in a long time, and I don't really have any desire to go back. I don't remember it being bad, but I was a teenager then and I don't really remember it being good either.

Also, I saw from that list that Annheuser-Busch brews Odouls, which I never understood. Why drink something that tastes like beer but wont even get you buzzed?

Random Michelle K said...

I like my local Applebee's. They have very good salad's which is usually what I get. The rest of the food is mostly uninteresting to me.

Nathan said...


To my eternal shame...I had my first Odoul's yesterday...and I didn't hate it.

Shoot me now.

Anonymous said...

Don't see Sam Adams on that list. Or Pete's Wicked Ale. Or Narragansett. The North East Kingdom of brews is safe!

kimby said...

The only one on that list I have tried is Stellas.
Don't think I am missing much.

and another Yuck vote for Applebee's.