Saturday, May 16, 2009

Le Dirigeable de L'amour

Remember The Love Boat? How about SuperTrain? Well you guys can get in on the ground floor of my idea for the next big TV RomCom...der Zeppelin der Liebe, The Blimp of Love. (The name needs a little work, but you get the idea.)

The show will center on a company that is bringing romance and luxury back to air travel. This won't be you father's blimp...Hell, no! This bad boy will have the biggest envelope ever manufactured and carry a four-story tall gondola with huge staterooms, elegant dining rooms, and glass-sealed observation decks with a variety of recreation choices. How about a swimming pool at 10,000 feet? Tennis courts? A simulated climbing wall up and over the envelope? You name it, The Dirigible de L'amour will have it. (It's TV, so we can just add shit to the inside...the audience will never know that the inside is 20 times larger than the outside.)

Casting will be easy as hell too. We'll get Scott Thompson to play the Captain. (That's Carrot Top for those of you who don't follow the biz.) Kirstie Alley can play the head Chef. We'll have a running gag where she's always eating something off the plates before she sends them me, it'll be hysterical. How about Todd Bridges for the lovable bartender? There are hundreds of washed up actors left over from the 80's and 90's who are just dying for a role like one of these to sink their teeth into. They'll be lining up for a chance to audition. I bet they'll all work for scale.

OK, I can hear you all pooh-pooing the idea of casting has-beens for the lead roles. Don't worry, we'll get really hot names for the guest stars each week. How about Joe the Plumber one week? I hear he's available. We could get some of the kids who lost previous seasons on American Idol. I'm not sure where they all are, but I bet Norwegian Cruise Lines has some of their numbers. Can you just imagine the laughs and romance you could get out of an episode with Dick Cheney? He'll be at his undisclosed location looking for love. Maybe we'll let him go skeet shooting on the roof. Maybe we could set up a Meet-Cute between Stephen Colbert and Ann Coulter. I bet we could get Jenny McCarthy to play the gasbag one week.

Guys! I'm telling you this idea has Win written all over it. Anybody wanna help me write the pilot?


Janiece said...

I'm in, as long as I get to push Jenny McCarthy off the gondola during a "Mystery of the Week" plot twist.

Tania said...

Brilliant! I'm going to be thinking about other cast members as I'm doing my chores today.

vince said...

Just as long as it doesn't follow SuperTrain. You remember what happened to that show, don't you?

And washed-up actors will do just fine. They're working well on "The Smoking Gun Presents: World's Dumbest."

I'm in for helping with the writing.

WendyB_09 said...

Can we get Don Johnson as the washed-up jaded cop heading up the security detail??

oh, pa-leaze?!?! canwe??


Nathan said...


Don can be the figurehead on the prow of the gondola. He'll like that with the wind ripping through his hair and stuff.

Otherwise, no! He's not washed up enough and needs to marinate a little longer.

Anonymous said...

David Soul might be good as the blimp-cop.

I hear Joan Rivers is available to play the role of Carol Channing.

Nathan said...

Joan's busy being the new Celebrity Apprentice. Donnie keeps them busy.

I'm fine with including David Soul, but not the Starsky & Hutch version. I prefer the "Here Come the Brides" version of Dave. ::swoooooon::

WendyB_09 said...

Nathan, unless Don's lost some weight, I don't think you'll want him on the prow of the gondola... you'd have some serious balance issues...

Just sayin...


Jeri said...

I think the trend now is away from scripted shows and toward reality shows, which are only semi-scripted. ;)

So, your Le Dirigible show could include being voted off the ship.

"Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuggggggggghhh... splat."

Jim Wright said...

The funny thing is, this idea isn't half so dopey as some of the shows that actually make it onto the tube.

How about Pauly Shore as the lovable but confused cruise director?

Tina Louise as the Cruise Line's CEO (if she can find the time between her "serious" roles).

And, of course, Gary Coleman as the Chief Engineer.

Nathan said...

Just to catch up...

Wendy, I'm sure we're carrying enough ballast to handle Don on the prow. It's a four story tall gondola for chrissake!...with impossibly huge interiors.

Jeri, I'm not interested in a reality series, but we could certainly have an episode where the storyline involves a reality series shooting on the blimp. Don't worry, we'll toss off losers; Everybody wins!

Jim, I'd be careful about casting Gary Coleman with Todd Bridges in the same show. And I'm cool with Tina Louise as the CEO. I think her age would ad gravitas.