Every medical professional I cross paths with feels the need to lecture me on smoking. My chiropractor says something during almost every visit. I take it with a grain of salt, since this is the same guy who wanted me to take valerian root at some point in the past. I don't remember what the benefit was supposed to be, but the downside was that it made me smell like I'd been grazing on dog poop.
I've had regular checkups with my doctor since my little visit to the hospital earlier this year. He's been making slight adjustments to which drugs he's got me on and he's expressed that he's very pleased with how effectively I've reacted to them. (Unless he's only a shill for whatever evil cabal is trying to kill me with pharmaceuticals.) And, of course, I get a primer on the dangers of smoking during each visit. We'll come back to that in a moment.
There was an article yesterday in The Guardian about Henry Allingham becoming, not only Britain's oldest living WWI vet, but also the world's oldest man at 113. Read the article. He's an interesting guy. But the part that warrants including him in this little post is:
Despite an apparently blameless life, he attributes his longevity to "cigarettes, whisky and wild, wild women..."My friggin' hero! Here...just look at him!
No!...Not that picture! (And even if that was the one I meant, he's just pining for the fjords, there...honest!)
So, anyway, you can see where I'm going with this. I'm holding up the one genetic mutant I could find as my exemplar to prove that you should all leave me the hell alone. Yes, thank you very much, I do know the definition of specious.
But that brings me back to the topic of my last doctor's visit. As I mentioned, he gave me the usual smoking lecture. In all honesty, this one may have lasted...oh, thirty seconds longer than usual. I chalked it up to being the equivalent of the lawyer who gets overruled and says, "No, I strenuously object, your honor". Hey, you can't blame the guy for trying.
And then, I got the bill. I was surprised to see that I owed a co-pay of $55.00 for a Smoking cessation session. Really? REALLY!??!!! I am so telling him to shut up next time I visit.
BTW, I know some of you are going to lecture me on this subject in the comments. Fine, go ahead. But if you try to bill me for it, you'll be getting a little bottle of valerian root and a lovely note telling you to "Eat... "