Sunday, March 2, 2008

OMFG, There's a Meme Under the Couch! GetItOut, GetItOut, GetItOut!

OK, so you guys all seem to have knuckled under to the MemeGod. And not just any MemeGod...a 35 question freakin' MemeGod. So, not only do you have to compose 35 answers, we've all got to read 'em. C'mon guys! That's 35 freakin' questions and answers.

So, in the spirit of being a good blog visitor, I've got to read all of that and come up with a thoughtful comment so you don't know I've drifted off and left a puddle of drool on my keyboard. Well, frankly, I am appalled. Just appalled.

Resist, Resist, fellow blogophiles!

OK, I know, we're all weak. We need freebie post subjects sometimes. Crap! Thinking of something new every day is HAAAAARD.

But, C'mon. Thirty-Five Freakin' Questions? That's just plain rude.

I like to think of Polybloggimous as a public service kind of place (yeah, I'm delusional). In the spirit of public service, I propose: If Memes you must have, Meme small. (Can Meme be a verb? If it hasn't been before, I call dibs on the coinage. Hmmm, coinage.)

Here are my proposed rules for Meme-ing:

-Memes must be short. No more than five questions or items.

-Memes must not require deep thought. Somewhere between the amount of thought required
to blow your nose and to keep your heart beating.

-Sorry, I nodded off and left another puddle of drool on my keyboard.

Here's a Meme that fits my proposed rules:

You've all heard the saying "Its better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick". Tell me something you think is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Note: It doesn't have to be much better.


Jeff Hentosz said...

"Thinking of something new every day is HAAAAARD."

Uh, actually, not a problem for some of us.

"Tell me something you think is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Note: It doesn't have to be much better." (emphasis mine)

- A poke in the eye with a blunt stick.
- A poke in the upper thigh with a sharp stick.
- A poke in the upper thigh with a blunt stick.
- Not getting poked anywhere with anything.

Things that are only just better than eye/stick:

- Celebrity gossip "news" (my favorite magazine is Who Cares?).
- Cauliflower or Brussels Sprouts. Note: situation specific.
- Tax time.
- Soap operas.
- Trolls on the Whatever.
- Local TV news.
- Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter. Note: situation specific.

I'll think of more in the shower.

Nathan said...

Uh, actually, not a problem for some of us.


Jeff Hentosz said...

Yeeee-es? Apparently the subtext of my comment eluuuudes you.


Thought of something else just better than a PITEWASS: Using a Windows computer. Again, situation specific.

Nathan said...

subtext processing.........Now!


PixelFish said...

Things that are barely better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick:

+ Getting your eardrum punctured and/or lanced (Thank you, Stephen King, for the graphic description of this procedure in your book, On Writing.)

+ Catheters

+ Ingrown toenails

My boyfriend says a strawberry meringue is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

vince said...

Tell me something you think is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick. Note: It doesn't have to be much better.

(thanks to Canadian comedy troupe The Frantics)

- A boot to the head
- A rabid Tasmainian Devil placed in your trowsers

Anonymous said...

Chopping logic with a belligerent teen.

Doing taxes. And then paying said taxes.

Speaking of money, buying new tires.

A poke in the upper arm with a sharp needle.

Writer's block.

Eric said...

A poke in both eyes with two sticks! More is always better!

Nathan said...


MWT said...

Hey, if you want short and mindless, you can just stick with all those "what Harry Potter character would you be?" style quizzes instead. (OMFG can we say pointless. :p)

Nathan said...

Whomping Willow!

And I have a very pointy head, thank you very much.

kimby said...

Sorry, got nothing today...
but you guys are making me smile!

Random Michelle K said...

So says that man who pizza blogged.

Nathan said...

Yeah, but the pizza only had three toppings, not 35.

MWT said...

What three toppings were those? I don't believe you ever specified...

Nathan said...

Now that I think about it there were 4 toppings. Pepperoni on all of it. Black olives on one half. Onions and green peppers on the other half.

Jeff Hentosz said...

Ah, yes. Just better than a PITEWASS: onions. Also mushrooms.

John the Scientist said...

Just better than a PITEWASS:

Sticking oyur tongue on the leads of a 22.5V battery.

Much better than a PITEWASS:

Getting some noob to stick his tongue on the leads of a 22.5V battery. Actually, if you put the lead on your forehead and there's the slightest bit of sweat it's almost as bad - the skin is really thin on yor forehead and scalp.

John the Scientist said...

Hey! Do you think we can get Shawn "Cinnamon" Powers to stick his tongue on a 22.5 V battery on camera?

Nathan said...


I'm pretty sure we can get him to do it.

Nathan said...


I actually went so far as to post the challenge and then I deleted it. That just seems really funny to do to people you don't know. I don't have it in me to try to talk Shawn into doing it. (I've tasted a 9v and that's bad enough.)

Anonymous said...

Did you know that those of us who subscribe to blogs via RSS reader get to see the deleted posts? Even if you delete them, they're already 'out there' in RSS feed land. :)

I can't believe you said that about Shawn. };>

Tania said...

Yeah, what Jeri said. I just now realized that you deleted the post.

Better than a sharp stick in the eye

Cat barf
Spouse barf

Sorry. I had to clean up cat barf a bit ago. We were at a party that got a little raucous last night, and I was worried, at one point, that I was going to have to deal with spouse barf. Luckily enough, he kept it all in. But he had a wee bit of a hangover this morning. Heh. I was drinking ginger ale.

Nathan said...

No, I didn't realize it went out with the RSS. Bad new-ish blogger.

I thought it was funny right up to the moment I hit "publish" and then I regretted it and deleted it right away.

Shawn, don't lick any batteries. I may owe you a pizza anyway.

And Tania,

Spouse barf is only better than PITEWASS depending on where it lands.

John the Scientist said...

I gotta watch thinking out loud around here - I didn't think you'd challenge Shawn without consulting the rest of us first. :D

And if I'm going to challenge Shawn to the battery taste-off, I want to be there in person! We'll start with 22.5 V, then work up to 45 V and 67.5 V.

All right, who's up for a road trip to Michigan?

Nathan said...


Cut it out.


If it ain't chocolate, I'm not challenging you to taste it.

Jeff Hentosz said...

Well, a fudgesicle would be good to take the sting out of the zing.

John the Scientist said...

Jeff, if you taste a 22.5 V, all you will taste is tin for the rest of the day.

Janiece said...

A slap in the belly with a dead fish.

Jeff Hentosz said...

John, that gives me an idea!

Nathan: Picture of you with a mouthful of pennies -- double-dog dare you. Hey, it'd be better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

Anonymous said...

BTW - as the proud co-owner of a new convertible, I can share the following lessons learned:

- 45 degrees is a bit cold for a convertible at 55mph.
- baseball hats are good, but you have to make sure they're on tight.
- sunglasses are also pretty essential.
- don't put the top down unless you have a brush in the glove box.
- having the top down makes the cramped backseat seem like a total pleasure ride.
- there is nothing quite as cool as having the top down during a warm, starry summer night.