Saturday, March 15, 2008

What You Are Getting Today!

This makes more sense if you've read the post after this one, but I didn't have the patience to wait an hour to post it because I'm a blurter.

Ken Levine posted this video on his blog today.



Its the 1986 Dodgers in the height of 1986 fashion, singing in the height of 1986 style. And a mere 22 years later, we look at it and go, "Ha, Ha. Look at those silly 1986 people who thought they looked good in those shiny pastels and thought those dance moves were actually cool. Ha, Ha. Silly 1986 people."

Well, I've got news for you all. Someone, somewhere, right this very minute, is being a silly 2008 person, providing fodder for 2030 giggles. Oh, yes they are!

So, here's the question. Which bit of fashionable clothing will reap the most gales of laughter in 22 years? What hairstyle will prove the dorkiest and most worthy of derision ala the now-famous "flock of seagull" cut? What snippet of music will garner the "What were they thinking" gasp?

Contributions including links are invited.

28 comments:

Janiece Murphy said...

White belts appear to be back.

::shudder::

Michelle K said...

It's not just white belts Janiece. Last night we decided to take a walk around the mall (it was cold and raining so there was no where else to walk) and the juniors section at an otherwise reasonable department store was CHOCK FULL of absolutely horrible clothes.

Colors I hate (especially those shades of green that are seen nowhere in nature), bright, large hideous patterns... it was so bad I don't even remember if the styles were flattering or not.

And that last line really sums up what I hate most about fashion. The colors and the horrific patterns are bad enough, but I could live with except, except that what style also pushes are clothing styles that look AWFUL on most people.

I work at a college in WV (the fattest state in the nation) so I see what are probably the worst offenders. And that is women (and men to some degree) who buy clothing based upon what is popular instead of what is flattering for their body shape and skin coloring.

Extremely low rise pants and cropped shirts are flattering on almost nobody. And they're horrific if you're even the slightest bit overweight.

And what's worse is when even average size women choose clothes that are unflattering. Curvy, beautiful women who wear clothes designed for stick figures, with buttons bursting out at all the wrong places, and so on and so forth.

So yeah, colors and patterns may be bad, but I'm far more offended by styles that are shotgunned to the market and look horrific on all but a very small minority body style.

And just so you can make fun of me, I give you how Michelle dressed in college: black AF jump boots (they were typically the only boots I could find in my size at the Army/Navy store), skinny black (or sometimes blue) jeans, black t-shirts, black leather biker jacket with various silver pins, and red hair. And when I went out, I'd try to add some kind of black hat to that. Because I have always loved hats.

(I'm not telling you what I wore in high school, because I had little say in the matter, since I didn't have the money to buy my own clothes.)

Also, you've nailed why I dress primarily in black, grey, and white. Because those colors don't go out of style. Yay!

One last thing? My secret fashion love? Pegged jeans. I love pegged jeans.

They keep ticks from crawling up your pants legs.

Janiece Murphy said...

Pegged jeans. Now there's a crime against nature.

Right alongside Hip-Hugging Bell Bottoms, they look good on approximately 2% of the population.

Michelle K said...

Hey! I looked GOOD in pegged jeans!

Tania said...

Clothes you see today:
hip hugging bell bottoms
low-rise pants on non-anorexics
hoodies
logos across your ass
peasant shirts
wife beaters
thongs
wrap tops (don't look good on anyone with a cup size larger than B)
white pants on men other than nurses and ships captains (thank you PJ O'Rourke!)
ruffles (my inner 7 yo loves ruffles and flounces, but they look silly)

I live in Alaska, where really great fashion can equal death. But, that aside, we have almost no fashion scene, even if you include us as part of the PNW. That doesn't stop me from reading W on a regular basis... I'm not built on a scale for fashion, but I like fabric and sewing

Todd Wheeler said...

My hope for the "What were they thinking?" award: the tarting up of clothes for pre-teen/tween girls.

Probably wishful thinking. And if not, way too late for my daughter.

I think I've also just crossed the line into "old-fogey-dom".

Janiece Murphy said...

::shakes fist at Todd Wheeler::

Get off my grass!

Tania, logos across the ass seems just stupid to me, too.

MWT said...

I liked the clothes I had in the late 80s. Everything since then looks ugly to me.

I'm still wearing some of the clothes I had in the late 80s. I wish I could find more of them.

I like deep primary colors. None of that pastel nonsense, or the kind that looks like dirt got rubbed in. I like loose-fitting comfy clothes with lots of big roomy pockets. This is why I wear sweatpants and the kind with a stretchy band instead of buttons and zippers. And I don't care what people think of the way I look - thus far in life people have been perfectly good about making no comments whatsoever on my appearance (which I didn't figure out until recently meant "you look awful"), and I'm fine with that.

Jeff Hentosz said...

What the hell's wrong with white belts? Put 'em on a pair of plaid polyester pants and add some white shoes, and you have a classic look called the "Full Cleveland." Not only is it de rigueur at retirement village mixers, Cleveland* -- as a wise man once observed -- rocks. \m/

What annoys the crap out of me now -- flip-flops. I hate 'em with a depth of loathing beyond the power of metaphor or emoticon to convey. Especially on men. Die, already, you fashion sin!

Those trucker/baseball/gimmee caps. It's been at least 25 years. Enough. At least take them off when you sit down to eat. Yes, even at the Mac-Donalds.

Lest you think I have something against "casual wear" -- men's neckties. It's been at least 750 years. Enough.


* especially as a metaphysical concept

Jim Wright said...

Women: low-rider pants - the ones that make every woman's ass look like a square sack of bricks - I'd like to kill the bastard who came up with that idea. Like tie-dye vests, twenty years from now I hope those fucking pants are considered a crime against nature.

Men: those pajama bottom "pants" with the pictures of sponge-bob, hot peppers, magic eight balls, or etc and flip-flops. I fucking hate guys that wander around in that crap, the sound of flip-flops going thowka-thowka-thowka as they shuffle through the store just sets my teeth on edge. And my God, Man, is it too much to ask for you to put on some real pants, for crying out loud?

I'm with Todd, the tarting-up of little girl's clothes, along with make up and etc - that's just plain creepy disturbing.

and I don't even know what pegged jeans are.

Nathan said...

OK,

On the roomy, lots of pockets front, I love cargo pants. I've found that I have a hard time going to work if I don't have all of those pockets available.

And flip flops? I won't wear anything with a little doohickey between my toes or any sort of toe strap at all, but I absolutely live in sandals as soon as its warm enough. Nice attractive leather sandals, not some cheap plastic crapola. Does that count Jeff?

Lastly, there's this sort of artistically designed hairdo the cool kids are wearing that I think looks utterly stupid. Its the one where one side of the hair is gown longer than the other and arranged on the cheek. I guess its sort of a variation on the comb-over or something like that. Meh!

Nathan said...

and I don't even know what pegged jeans are.

Philistine!

Jeff Hentosz said...

You also ask about hair and music. I don't know if there are any particularly characteristic or flamboyant popular styles right now. I see -- short, long, feathered, streaked, curly, straight, neon, bald -- a lot of eclecticism around me here in central Ohio (college town; state capital). The things that get the snickers are the things from another time anyway: mall bangs, mullets, spiky mohawks.

As far as music goes: again, what really grates is something from another age. It's that caterwauling female pop stars do before the first words in a song that goes back in a direct line from American Idol to Christina Agullareaia (sp?) to Mariah Carey to Whitney Houston. Basically, the same voice holding our Top 40 hostage since 1988.

Ever notice how popular music has remained largely stagnant since Reagan was elected? Think about how different music was from, say 1945 to 1955. How different in 1965? And 1975? Worlds apart, yes? But I'd bet that you could take most of last year's Billboard 100 -- from any genre -- and send it back to 1983 and most people would say "Yes?... And?" I'm sure it's an issue that's been discussed ad nauseum among audiophiles; I just always find it an ongoing phenomenon that's kinda weird.

Jeff Hentosz said...

I didn't see your comment about the weird hairstyle, Nathan. Haven't seen that one, yet (refer to previous note re: geography -- probably be here a by the end of '09).

Michelle K said...

Jim,

Pegged jeans are where you fold up the hem, tightening it around your ankle. Kinda, I think, like combat pants, so you can tuck them into your jeans.

Pegged jeans keep ticks (or other creepies) from crawling up your pants legs. They also work only if you have thin ankles.

As far as flip flops--I despite them. They make me want to drop caltrops all over the floor. I also want unseasonable snows--a foot deep. Or else deep, thick mud. The sticky gooey nasty kind that probably has dog poo mixed in.

And being in charge of the student workers at my job has major advantages. No short-shorts, no cropped tops, no hats of any type, and ABSOLUTELY NO FLIP FLOPS!

HA!

Steve Buchheit said...

Jeff Hentosz, you better be care bashing C-level-land, you might wake up with a yard full of pink flamingoes. That's what we call a "Parma."

My vote is for sweet pants with words like "Juicy" on the bottom. Or kids here in rural ohio dressing "gangsta." Add to that the wearing of pants below the butt.

Steve Buchheit said...

you know, I spelled it "sweat pants" originally, but then thought it looked wrong. Me editing foo is all gone wonky.

Nathan said...

Steve,

I'll agree that Cleveland (in spite of not knowing whether to identify itself as Southern, mid-Western, or rust-beltian) should not be taking hits better reserved for Cincinnati. I've worked on movies in both places and you couldn't get me back to Cincinnati with dynamite, a cattle prod and a SWAT team.

Jeff, don't be haytin on Cleveland.

Tania said...

The only city in Ohio I've been to is Akron (Go Zips!), so I'll just add in something I've heard somewhere...

Cleveland Rocks!

Michelle K said...

Of Arkon, Cleveland, and Cincinnati, I'd rather go to Cincinnati.

But then Michael's extended family is in Akron, and two of my best friends are in Cinci. So I'm biased.

But Cinci has Graeters!

Nathan said...

Cinci had people (in more than a couple of situations), that my Assistant Location Manager was able to determine wouldn't deal with me 'cause I'm a Jew. No love lost for Cinci.

Jeff Hentosz said...

WTF! How dare-- ::choke; sputter:: I am maligned! Besmirched, I say! As John Cleese once inquired, "Are you totally de-ranged?!"

Cheese-and-rice, what I wouldn't give for a technology that accurately conveyed vocal inflection over the interwebz.

There is no Cleveland haytin' going on. (Imagine me stabbing my finger into the desktop for emphasis here) Not on this side of the tube. That comment falls clearly within the realm of "self-deprecation."

But perhaps I am at fault for never making my bona fides clear.

Meet Jeff Hentosz: Born in Akron, grew up in the south-side neighborhood called Firestone Park. Attended the University of Akron (Communications/Journalism). Started dating my now-wife when she worked in downtown Cleveland. Married, moved to inner-ring suburb of Cleveland Heights for three years. Continued education at Cleveland State University (English Literature). Daughter born in Cleveland. After a year exiled in the Mordor-in-Ohio that is Cincinnati, moved back to the Akron area for 17 years. I worked as a reporter and editor for two chains of weekly newspapers covering the suburbs, cities and villages between Cleveland and Akron. By-and-by, I made a career shift into graphic design and moved to Columbus just two years ago for personal reasons.

I would post a picture of myself in my Cleveland Clinic t-shirt, but y'all don't deserve to see it. ::pout; sniff::

(Columbus has Graeter's, too, Michelle. But Akron has Strickland's! mmmmm.)

Tania said...

Hey Jeff, just for you, an earnest and heartfelt...

GO ZIPS!!!

I think Zippy the Kangaroo is a cool mascot, but the original one of the Zipper is neater.

Nathan said...

Jeff,

Soooooo sorry to have mistakenly maligned you. And, total props to both Cleveland Clinic and University Hospital. I'm a big fan of both for saving people I love.

Michelle K said...

Oh. Ew.

Sorry.

Well, if you head back that way, you can visit two people who will like you regardless. One lived on a commune in Haite Ashbury in the 60s with two Ultra Orthodox Jews (and others).

The other is a redneck from WV. Which means that as long as you don't diss him, he won't diss you.

:)

Nathan said...

To be fair, most of this happened in Lebanon, Ohio...which I'm told was a center for the revitalization of the KKK in the 1920's. I have no factual basis for this, but hey, we're on the internet, so it must be true if I said it.

:D

Jeff Hentosz said...

Ah, I'm okay. And you're good, Nathan. It's that Buchheit I got my eye on. He should know better. Between you and me ... I just might have connections among the drunk Amish teenager cabal, so he better watch his ass.

And thanks, Tania. I grew up just a couple miles from the Rubber Bowl (the Zips' stadium, for you fer'ners), which is next door to the Soap Box Derby, which is across the street from the old Goodyear blimp hangar where my Dad worked before he died. So all that stuff is seeped deep in m' conscienceness.

Michelle K said...

Columbus has Graeter's, too, Michelle. But Akron has Strickland's! mmmmm.

But Akron has my husband's uncle and his crack addict wife (seriously, arrested at least twice for possession), who did a shitty-ass job of caring for Michael's grandmother, so she is now ending her days in a nursing home, while they now own her house free and clear.