Sunday, February 22, 2009

I ♥ NY!

This morning, I was a little early for our scout (both days went very well, thank you very much), so I stopped to kill time getting a cup of coffee. As I was leaving, I spotted a much older woman on her way in. This was a woman clearly from old money...wearing a full length mink; hair coiffed to within an inch of its life.

Having been raised in the genteel South, I held the door for her. We've discussed elsewhere our disdain for people who fail to acknowledge such courtesies, but I need to know...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"?

I thought it was funny so I laughed...for the next three blocks.

24 comments:

Random Michelle K said...

I think laughing was probably the only response you could make.

Sounds like someone's off her meds. Jeesh!

Jeff Hentosz said...

Well, not the only response:

• Full-length fur<--quart of red paint

• Nathan, sotto voce: "Husk," and hits shoulders with her.

• Nathan, larghetto: "GET THROUGH THAT GODDAM DOOR!"

• Tears.

Tania said...

To quote Bugs Bunny

What an Ultra Maroon!

Eric said...

I need to know...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"?

Hack her to pieces with your axe while screaming, "Mommy hates naughty children!" at the top of your lungs?

Chris said...

At the top of your lungs:

"YOU'RE WELCOME!!!"

Jim Wright said...

...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"


- Well, then I guess a blowjob in the alley is out of the question?

Jim Wright said...

...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"


- Well, fuck, Princess, twenty bucks is the going rate everywhere else in the city...

Jim Wright said...

...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"


- Sorry, I mistook you for a human being.

Jim Wright said...

...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"


- You daughter says Hi!

Jim Wright said...

...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"


- Whoa, sorry, I saw that coat and just assumed you liked it doggy style...but, hey, if you wanna be on top, that's OK with me.

Jim Wright said...

This is what I do.

Janiece Murphy said...

"It's my BIRTHDAY, you stuck-up twat!"

Happy Birthday, Nathan.

Erin said...

Oh my, I think laughing was a good one. Of course if any of Jim's ideas had just popped into your head...

Happy Birthday!

mattw said...

Yell back to the barista to give her the lugie special.

Happy Birthday!

Eric said...

...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"?

I'm only a maniac on the dance floor, and then I'm dancing like I've never danced before, bitch!

Eric said...

...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"?

::Weep a single tear as you stand stoically, holding the door open::

Eric said...

...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"?

Don't make me angry, lady... you wouldn't like me when I'm angry....

Eric said...

...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"?

You and I are done, professionally.

Eric said...

...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"?

::curl into a fetal position, screaming::

Oh God! It's high school prom all over again! Noooooooo!

Eric said...

Oh, and happy birthday.

Random Michelle K said...

BTW Happy Birthday Nathan.

I hope nobody screamed at you this morning.

Jim Wright said...

...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"

- But, Mary, it really is me! Your lost Howard, reborn in this wretched body! Give us a kiss, Sugarlips!





Happy, birthday, Sugarlips

Jim Wright said...

...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"

Ahhhh, I see you've finally had enough! And who's the maniac here? You know not a lot of guys could handle a woman like you. I have to read books on the outside just to keep up!



::Yes, I acknowledge the admonishment in Nathan's next post, but I won't obey it::

Eric said...

...is there any proper response when such a blue-blood shrieks at the top of her lungs, "Get away from me you fucking maniac!"?

(Thick Austrian accent) Come with me if you want to live.