Thursday, February 26, 2009

My Subconscious is a Plagiarizing Bastard

I rarely remember my dreams when I wake up. This morning, I woke up with a fully formed novel in my head. I actually started typing notes while the coffee was brewing. With each note, my excitement grew; could it really be this easy? Without thought, I had a beginning a middle and a wham-bam ending. I knew who the characters were, if not their names. Subplots flashed across synapses faster than I could get them written down.

"Genius!, I'm a fucking genius", I thought.

As the first cup of coffee thinned the fog, clarity took hold. Euphoria waned.

Ken Follett may have written this already.

Fuck coffee and fuck Ken Follett.

Note to subconscious: If you're going to plagiarize and convince yourself you thought of it first, I'd really rather have you skew toward Terry Pratcett. Your cooperation would be appreciated.

13 comments:

Jim Wright said...

Ha! I think your subconscious fucking stole that idea from my subconscious! Because my subconscious has done that to me several times.

They're all in it together.

Jeff Hentosz said...

You can't plagiarize ideas, bro. If your noodle got all het up over this one, DO NOT GIVE UP.

Here, read this. (The "Blog" section).

Then read this -- well, part of it. Scroll down or search the page for "Harris."

Why not take the Follett-ish idea and write it as if it were a Discworld story? Boom, your Acknowledgements page is done. I'd read that book. So would my father-in-law.

Write, monkey!

Jim Wright said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jim Wright said...

Jeff, so you're saying it's more like sampling then?

Cool.

Because I've this great idea for an adventure set on a giant ring around a star, only the ring is a square - I'm thinking of calling it Boxworld, or maybe because the heroes are all rappers, Blingworld. And I've got another one about this big black cube that teaches cavemen about dental hygiene and how to build spaceships...

Eric said...

When I was young, I once wrote a really awesome song. Best melody I've composed in my entire life. And then one day I happened to realize it was just the John Lennon bits from "A Day In The Life," only in a different key.

I was very sad that day. It still makes me sad more than twenty years later. Stupid brain. Stupid song. Stupid John Lennon.

mattw said...

Careful Eric, we don't want you tied in with the Lennon murder plot.

Eric said...

I'm more concerned I might be called as a witness in Clarence Walker's lawsuit.

(If I wasn't at work, I'd find a video link--it looks like JibJab might have one; if you haven't seen the original, seek it out. Seriously.)

Steve Buchheit said...

Ah go with it. Nobody reads this Ken Follett guy.

And just make the idea your own. While you might be ripping ideas, plagiarism is copying the actual words.

Keith Wilson said...

Must be nice to have dreams that have some basis in reality, even if it is someone else's. I was dreamt that I won the Nobel Prize for Bank Robbery. White tails, fat check and all.

Nathan said...

Well Keith,

That's a hell of an idea for a story. Mind if I steal it?

Keith Wilson said...

Send me a royalty check.

Nathan said...

Oh those quaint Canadians with their euphemistic, nicey-nice definitions of "steal".

Keith Wilson said...

Have the check wrapped around a donut if you please.