I'm sure most of you remember the Dominos Debacle. For those of you who weren't here, it's recommended reading. And things got pretty crazy in the comments too. Anyway, you'll remember that Shawn made a prank call to me in the middle of the whole thing, pretending to be from Dominos and I gave him an earful before I realized what was going on.
The end result of all of that was that I'm no longer going to be a Dominos customer...ever!
Ten minutes ago, my cell phone rang. A voice starts telling me about some special Dominos is running. I'm thinking one of you morons has decided the joke needs expansion. I'm saying stuff like, "C'mon, which one of you guys is this?" I know it's not Shawn or Jim or John the Scientist. I know thier voices. I've heard Vince on his radio show and I'm pretty sure it's not him. And then I realize that no matter what I say, the voice keeps droning on giving its spiel.
Fuck! It's a recording and since it's the phone number I used when placing my order, it's the one they've got in their computer. And I probably can't make a "Do Not Call" list apply to them, since they can document that I've been a customer.
I'm open to suggestions for how I can make a chain I refuse to ever do business with again, stop calling my cell phone.
Well, I know a way.
First you'll need a few things:
- 1 medium sized aardvark, cut into cubes
- 1 box metric threaded wing nuts (10mm-24)
- 50ft water-proof high speed, smokeless det cord
- A 1 liter diet pepsi bottle (empty, washed, with cap)
- 1 family-sized can Crisco
- 2 paper clips, alligator type
- a circus clown
- compass (gyroscopic, self powered, type 6 in binnacle)
- 1 left-handed monkey wrench (large)
Call me when you've got that list together and I'll give you the rest of the directions.
Oh, and pick up a sixer of Killians and a large bottle of Excedrin.
Oh Helllll Yes!
It's MacGuyver time!
I think to be a customer you would have to, like, actually have a completed transaction. Which would require the actual delivery of actual pizza.
Even if you've been a customer, I still think you can require them to remove you from their call list. It might require a registered letter or something... it'd be worth researching.
Remember, Nathan, there is no problem that cannot be solved with the suitable application of high explosive.
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