Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Someone Owes Me Some Damned Entertainment!

I actually got home by 7:00p.m. tonight. This feels like a miracle. All I want to do is veg out on the couch in front of the TV. And what do the networks offer me? Crap!

You call these choices? For the lack of anything better, we're watching America's Got Talent. Eh, not so much. The English guy is an ass. Sharon Ozborne has obviously been talking baby talk to Ozzie for so many years that it's the only means of communication she has left. David Hasselhoff...what can I say? He's just really embarrassing to watch. You cringe every time he opens his mouth.

And the talent? I have no idea how far into the competition they are, but these folks have apparently made a bunch of cuts and we're down to either finalists or semi-finalists or something. So, the bad acts must have been cut by now?

So far, I've seen:

-A guy imitating Sinatra. (and forgetting the words)

-A guy doing opera.

-A four year old girl. (this must have been cute in the early rounds, but gimme a fucking break.
Sorry, the kid sucks.)

-And a young woman singing a Sarah McGlaughlin song. (without ever having learned how to avoid breathing into the mic.)

-There's an Elvis imitator coming on next.

There's another hour of this shit on but the alternatives aren't any more appealing.

I'm pleading with you all to provide some entertainment in the comments because, frankly, TV sure as hell isn't doing it tonight.
(BTW, I'd read some, but I have the attention span of a soap dish tonight.)

Update 9:26 p.m.: Well, I'm waiting!


kimby said...

Sorry, nothing exciting from me, unless you want to read my paper on symbolism in the new novel "The Order of Good Cheer". Which of course i don't have to hand in tomorrow because the profs are on strike! SO of course I am blog hopping..looking for chocolate and generally procrastinating.

How goes "America's Got Talent" (ok it hurts to even type that with a straight face.)

Shawn Powers said...

I just gotta say...


vince said...

Hey, I like Bones - Bones is good. But now it's too late for that.

And I'm working (well, not right this second, but you know what I mean), so I'm not very entertaining. However, JibJab is always good for a laugh, and their take on the news is one of my favorites:

What We Call The News

Nathan said...

Well, Shawn just pranked me on my phone again, and I didn't figure it out until I was already hanging up on the asshole giving me a "courtesy call from the Republican National Convention."

Since my vocabulary is working so well tonight, the best I could come up with was, "You've got to be kidding me." CLICK.

MWT said...

Poor Shawn. Always being sworn at or hung up on whenever he calls. ;)

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I wish I could watch any of that crap. Since Hurricane Ike whipped up a windstorm in Louisville on Sunday, I have not had power. Three days of sitting in the dark and reading are starting to make us a little crazy. And we like reading. Really. But three days of no electronic stimulation is starting to take its toll.
(How am I posting this without electricity, you ask? I'm at work. But work doesn't count as electronic stimulation.)

Random Michelle K said...

Obviously, Shawn doesn't sound cute enough. I mean, Nathan didn't hang up on *us*!

And then there is the whole idea of looking to TV for entertainment.

I mean, isn't that what the UCF is for?

MWT said...

Oh by the way - if you're still taking suggestions for random blogs upon which we should descend en masse, I'd like to suggest An Englishman in New York. He dropped a comment on one of my posts, so I looked him up, and although he doesn't post frequently, he does write some entertaining stuff.

Anonymous said...

I think we should entertain Nathan by writing limericks for him. Badly.

There once was a cabbie from Queens
He overcharged fares by any means
The crew started to squeal
Nathan fucked up his deal
And now the poor guy eats beans.

OK - I have a meter problem in the second line, oh well. ;)

Tania said...

Nathan, a manager of locations
has a stressful occupation
Film shooting sites
fill his days and nights
leaving no time for masturbation

Hey, you wanted to be entertained...

Ilya said...

I could have gotten my guitar and sung a few ditties to you on the phone, but unfortunately, I was well asleep by the time you posted this.

Oh, wait, that might have made things worse for you...

Jim Wright said...

Oh shit, I didn't see this until too late. And it's a damned shame too, because I was being all kind of entertaining last night. Really, I had extra and I would have cheerfully given some to you.

Go ahead, all bullshit on me. I fell asleep on the couch about 9:30.

But today, today I'm entertaining. I am.