Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Let's Go Visiting, Shall We?

A while back, I suggested we all go visit some blogger en masse; drop in from nowhere and give them some commenty goodness; boost their stats with a (decidedly) mini-Farking. While roaming the intertubes yesterday, I happened across The Anonymous Production Assistant's Blog.

For those of you who don't know, Production Assistants are at the very bottom of the totem pole. They're the part of the pole that resides six feet below ground to hold up the flashy visible part. Their job description, in brief, is absolutely anything and everything that nobody else wants to do. Browse around APAB for some amusing anecdotes. I can attest to his (I presume he's a he)
veracity.

Here's the thing about Production Assistants. The main job requirements are:
-a pulse.
-being generally ambulatory.
-the ability to take initiative.
-the ability to do exactly what the fuck you were told to do...Who told you to think on your own?
-the ability to read minds and know when initiative is your friend and when initiative is your enemy.

Other than the first two requirements, there's really no way to test for these things. Production Assistants are strictly judged on the job. (The fact that you passed Existential Scenes from Bulgarian Films of 1932 at UCLA does not provide any indication of how well you will clean the Men's Room after one of the extras decides to flush his underwear down the toilet.) So, when you're on a film, you'll meet a wide variety of Production Assistants with a wide variety of abilities and/or the promise of said abilities. I've met a few who I just know I'll be working for someday. I've met some who were so stupid...well, suffice it to say, they were really stupid.

And I don't claim any specialness in this department. I was a stupid P.A. for a while. When trying to get one of my first jobs, I was asked if I had any P.A. experience. I responded, honestly that I didn't know anything about Public Address systems. I annoyed one Producer so much, (by asking him every five minutes if I could get him a cup of coffee), that I was officially banned to the office when he was on set and vice versa when he went to the office.

Anyway, APAB needs visitors and comments. Since he seems to be in L.A., (and it's currently 5:30 a.m. there), there's no post for today yet. I'm gonna comment in yesterday's post and I encourage you all to say Hi in whatever post is most current when you visit.

12 comments:

Janiece Murphy said...

Done.

kimby said...

Double done.

Tom said...

Mission in progress...

Matt Warnock said...

done and done.

Chris said...

That was fun! When do we do it again?!

Nathan said...

You can go back over there right now if you wish. I'm not going to make this a regular feature...just something I do when I find something I like that's still relatively undiscovered.

I mean, just imagine how silly we'd look showing up at the Whatever and announcing that we'd arrived en masse.

The Anonymous Production Assistant said...

Thanks for the bump! The scale on my "Number of Visitors" chart quintupled this morning.

I admit, it was a surprise. I had my post for today all lined up, so I'll have to comment on it tomorrow.

If you're looking for another target in the Hollywood trenches, Amanda the Aspiring TV Writer is a good choice.

Nathan said...

Actually, I wasn't looking specifically for film biz blogs. I just ran across your comment on Ken Levine's blog and figured any P.A. who's gonna be posting anonymously has to be throwing some dirt.

I'll be a regular visitor

Michelle K said...

I think you're really just trying to force the rest of us to read about the film industry. You're tired of us spouting off all this esoteric computer knowledge, you just want someone else around here with whom you can talk and make all he rest of us confused.

We see how you are.

You and your hat.

Nathan said...

You and your hat. You kill me.

Anyone who doesn't get that needs to read archives and all linked blogs and figure it out for themselves. Sorry, I'm cruel that way.

I've been looking for the right blog to link for this, but I kept running into really sappy Mommy-blogs. Some had a good post or two, but the rest was...meh. I liked the one I linked. Tough shit if us film dudes are more entertaining. And you can go ahead and post all the computer esoterica you want, but I'm sticking with my toothpick.

Michelle K said...

Humph.

I've got a whole list of WV blogs on my sidebar!

Nathan said...

I've got a whole list of WV blogs on my sidebar!

Apparently, just listing them in your sidebar isn't enough. You have to command us to go visit one. Also, I was kinda trying to find sites none of us had ever heard of before. Sidebar residents were eliminated from consideration unless I had linked three times away from one of our blogs.

As always, comin' to ya from North-By-Bealzebub-Brooklyn