Thursday, November 27, 2008

O'Dark-Thirty: The Thanksgiving Edition (This Post Behaves Like a Multipost...But I Swear It Isn't) Just Scroll For More.

I mentioned somewhere yesterday that GF and I are doing our Thanksgiving without any assistance from pesky neighbors and relatives. We have all the traditional stuff standing by. Breakfast is all stuff that I bought yesterday and requires a minimum of effort to prepare.

GF has volunteered to do all food prep and I have volunteered to be a slug and eat whatever is placed before me. Since GF is currently employed (i.e. has to set the alarm for every morning), and I am liberty...the one major concession I made was that I would get up when the zombie-monster hordes adorable kitty residents decided it was time for breakfast. This morning, at precisely 4:53 a.m., one of the little shits munchkins enthusiastically chomped down on the big toe of my right foot, leading me to believe that they had overheard and comprehended that I was in charge of kitty breakfast.

Dutifully, they have been fed. At the sight of NEW FOOD(!!!111lll11!!), they proceeded to dive right in, eat two bites each and then chase each other like maniacs for 15 minutes. No other kitty food has been consumed yet, but the proper equilibrium has been established. GF has been permitted to sleep-in, as is entirely proper. The kitties have returned to the land of the comatose. I am wide awake...drinking my third cup of coffee and watching the fourth bit of breaking news concerning the inflation of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Floats.

When do we get to start on the Bloody Marys?

First Nap: 8:30 - 9:15 a.m. That's what's known as dedication.

GF invents a new snack treat:

GF ran across a recipe for biscuits that she had to try. I don't recall GF or I ever having a biscuit in each others' presence before...ever. I guess we're just not the biscuit type. But GF decided to make biscuits. Hey, fine. I'll eat biscuits.

This recipe says they'll rise in the oven. Not so much. The two dozen little flat round things GF has produced are flat and tasty as all git-out...but they're not biscuits. I suggested making them in a different shape (thereby removing the expectation of them being biscuits) and calling them biscookies.

1:45 p.m.: Turkey is in the oven in its brandy new roaster pan. We'll be eating by 6.

What's for lunch?


Jeff Hentosz said...

Pitiful. Just pitiful.

Nathan, it sounds like you've bought in to this noxious myth about "people" somehow being "owned" by "cats." ::buzzer:: Wrong.

The Hentosz cat has gotten a cup-ish of dry food once in the a.m. when whatever household biped first decides to get up, and another in the evening just as soon as the dog has been fed. That's the way it's been since she was knee-high to ... well, the dog ... and she likes it!

As long as you're just loafing today, I think it would be a good idea to assemble the pussies on the couch, fire up PowerPoint or Keynote if you need back-up, and gently explain the new order. You'll have to devise your own punishment for non-compliance. If it was me, I'd assure them I would not turn up my nose at replacing this New Year's roast with something a little more Asian in provenance. And then cock your eyebrow just so.

Good luck, and enjoy your day.

Nathan said...

I believe you mis-perceive our felines to be of the educable variety. Sadly, sir, they are not. They are willful wee beasts. Their current favorite game involves predicting when, if we had a rooster, he would crow. Then they endeavor to beat that time by a minimum of 15 minutes. At the appropriate time, they crawl between the sheet and the duvet and attack my toes.

This (for them) carries the benefit of making them difficult to grab, and impossible to give flying lessons with the other foot. Furthermore, I'm convinced they are Canadian...why else the disrespect for Thanksgiving Day, (no slight intended Kimby and Keith [although all other Canadians not of my acquaintance may take all offense they wish]).

Anne C. said...

My kitties are generally good about food (though they will be extra pesky for attention if their dry catfood bowl is empty). They are insistent about getting petted in the morning though. No sharp claws or teeth, thank goodness.

Anonymous said...

Well, see, I used regular flour instead of self-rising....DUH!
I'll try 'em again, cuz' they'll be tasty little turkey sammiches.
Anon GF

Jeff Hentosz said...


::checks calendar::

::checks clock::

Where my multi-posts at?

::considers saying f' it and starting own blog again::

::discards idea for the pain in the balls it is, per weekly routine::

Does anyone know if two kittens can even take down a healthy adult, let alone consume one? Even with a grown-up cat to help? Should we call NYPD? FDNY? CSI/FBI/IRS? The Directors Guild?



::goes to rake leaves. or put up Xmas tree::