First of all Matt Vince. This is very much like the wishes a genie grants. Once you utter the wish, you're stuck with it, so think things out. No going back and changing your mind.
It is also, dis-similar to the wishes a genie grants in that I'm just not that competent (as is clearly demonstrated in the title). This is the best I could do. Or more accurately, the best I could be bothered to do.