Since last Sunday's visit to a Flea Market and subsequent posted description and photos of said visit, numerous malicious references have been made to Nathan's "teak hat". Said item is neither teak, nor a hat and readers are hereby notified of the existence of a Cease & Desist Order prohibiting further mention of said "teak hat".
Violations of this Order will be dealt with harshly and swiftly, penalties to include (but not be limited to), forfeiture of UCF membership, 45¢ fine for each violation, imprisonment for up to 17 hours, or any combination thereof.
This Cease & Desist Order is in effect immediately and will be enforced rigorously. Thank you for your cooperation.