Thursday, October 30, 2008

Channel 7 Peeves My Pets in the First Five Minutes of the News.

Dear Channel 7,

It is not alleged that the woman was missing. It is not alleged that she was murdered. She was in fact missing and after police found her, the M.E. investigated and determined that she had been strangled. So, unless you believe she may have hung herself, then in Zombie-mode, took off the noose and dumped herself in the woods, the only thing that is alleged is that her husband is the murderer. Please save your alleging for that which isn't yet a fact.

Also? There is no need to clear up things by saying "3:15 P.M. in the afternoon".

Thank you. That is all. (Well, actually, you've got 18 minutes to offend my ears again.)


vince said...

Send them an email:

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Anonymous said...

Channel 7 is just a whole lot of stupid, isn't it?

Jeff Hentosz said...

As a former ink-stained wretch and not knowing the particulars, I can aver that "alleged" saves journalists a whole lot of $$$ on legal fees, or at least a whole lot of [symbol for tears of frustration here] getting yelled at.

Granted, "allegedly missing" sounds superfluous, but "missing" connotes foul play and while gone she may as well be "allegedly in hiding." Once found -- dead -- murder is "alleged" until proven in a court. She may be dead due to "negligent homicide" or "manslaughter," even "assisted suicide" or "self defense." It's up to a jury. All these are defined by specific legal criteria and come with different specific penalties. Until Sam Waterson nods sagely and puts on his hat, it's all necessarily "alleged."

"3:15 pm in the afternoon," though? Hopeless. There's a scribe bound for a rewarding career in the food service industries, but will probably return to their first love, teaching.

Nathan said...

Well, I'd say when you're in the second day of every available cop in her town looking for her and saying that "foul play is suspected", alleged has sailed on "missing".

I'll give you that even when the ME rules a homicide, you can still say that murder is alleged...if you're a flaming wimp. (In this case she was strangled and dumped in the woods. Her car had been parked 13 miles away and (apparently) badly staged to look like a breakdown so the cops could look for a bad samaritan.)

I stand by thinking the alleged murderer should be the only guy who properly rates an "alleged".

Anonymous said...

Peeves your pets? Lulu, Teufel and Widget watch the news?

Nathan said...

I could either go with:

"My pets are very bright",


"I thought it was clever at the time.

Take your pick.