Tuesday, October 7, 2008

In Which Nathan Talks About What's Really Important.

For close to two years, the Presidential Election has been occupying most of us. It dominates the news in every media. It is relentless and you can't escape it.

For the past few weeks, the current economic meltdown, has likewise, been a topic of much concern and discussion.

These topics, and possibly others have pushed aside something that might otherwise be overlooked...if it wasn't for me bringing it to your attention. That's right. Pierre Cardin has released his new collection.

You may thank me later for this insightful and thoughtful review.

Let's start with the circley-thing-suit. It's a cross between a pants-suit and a frisbee. Note how Pierre has avoided the color yellow and thereby dodged accusations of being derivative of the smiley face. Excellent choice, Pierre. And there's a handy pocket. I'm going to go out on a limb here and state, for the record that Hillary would have snatched victory from the jaws of defeat, had she only had the foresight to wear one of these. Alas, Pierre didn't release it early enough to help her cause. He must be an Obama man.


Next up, we have rotting fruit. Note the unnatural color and the stem rising from the model's head. Note, also, how happy the model appears to be. I believe this one is also available in pizza colors with peperoni appliques. Tres versatile.


This one is called the Sleeping Bag, or in its bown version, Le Turd. It's going to be extremely popular in colder climes and with narcoleptics.


The Rubber Hat is also very popular in snowy regions.


For those of you with a yen for Marine Biology, here's The Mollusk. It is not recommended that this be worn to the sea or seafood markets, however. It's extremely convincing and you don't want to be mistaken for a prize catch.


This one, inspired by The Jetsons is called The Beanstalk. I predict big things for this one. SF geeks, the world over will be clamoring for it.


Lastly, we have this retro frock called, Connectivity. Generously laced with an assortment of Ethernet cords, co-axial cables, and BNC connectors, this dress will take you straight back to the glory days of the 80's.

For those of you who long for the banality of today, however, there's always the Scott-E-Vest. This is only for those of you craving Wi-Fi and other such hobgoblins of little minds.




Next week I'll be reviewing High School Musical 3. You're welcome.

17 comments:

Janiece Murphy said...

You know, I could design these and make millions, too.

When I was trying to find my way after the Navy, I was vacillating between engineering and fashion design.

Alas, I've clearly chosen the wrong path.

vince said...

I'd wear The Beanstalk. If I were female. And my significant other was named Jack.

And I lived in a fairy tale.

Nathan said...

But Vince,

It matches that turban you were wearing for so long.

mattw said...

In case someone were in the park and lost their frisbee in the trees, could you use the circley-thing-suit to replace said frisbee?

vince said...

And re: your comment on my post, an update just for you.

Eric said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eric said...

And suddenly I have an urge to do a "pre-1973 SF" book and movie marathon.

So Pierre is doing costumes for the Barbarella remake, then? Last I heard, it was just a rumor, but that's cool--I totally love the red spacesuit in the third photo, you can totally tell it not only keeps the pilot warm when she's in the cold inky depths of space, but prevents traumatic head injuries if she hits plasmatic turbulance when her starplane skirts the edge of a nebular emulsion at a frightening speed of 2.328 parseculoids because her neutron scanner was jammed by epsilon rays from a dark core fragment. I cannot begin to tell you how much giddy joy writing this paragraph has just brought me.

Konstantin said...

Thank You, Nathan.

I now have a splitting headache due to an 8-bit soundtrack to all the mario, kong, and pacman games spinning in my head.

Random Michelle K said...

What in the holy fucking hell was that?

I'm sitting in the lobby of a very pricey hotel and actually had to pick my laptop and bring it closer to my face because I couldn't believe what my eyes were showing me.

Why the fuck don't these people have any sense?

Cindi in CO said...

City People

Jeesh.

Jim Wright said...

Here's what I always wondered - what do the models think?

"Holy sweet fucking baby bobbledheaded jeebus on a hot dirty dashboard, you want to take my photograph in that getup? Fuck you, Pierre, I'm on my break. Union rules."

Nathan said...

what do the models think?

Probably, "Hey, for $30,000 I'll wear any crap you want me to."

MWT said...

I like how Shawn is at the bottom of the post, like a punchline. ;)

neurondoc said...

I thought you were joking at first. Then I realized you weren't. My head hurts. Although for $30,000, I'd wear any one of those outfits. To work. For a meeting with Industry. And watch my supervisors faint. :-)

Natalie

mattw said...

I heard that when those outfits combine they form Voltron, and the models blast off into space to fight giant alien baddies across the universe.

John the Scientist said...

OK, who wants to pay Natalie 30,000 to switch offices and have a meeting with my team in that getup when we go down to DC?

I will take video.

John the Scientist said...

And I think the rubber hat is for swallow season in Capistrano.