Friday, April 25, 2008

Contemplating The Ultimate In Hijackey Goodness.

On occasion, I've been accused of being a Hijacker. Yes, you folks see me as someone who blithely dances into someone's thread about Third World Debt Relief, sees some mention of Kinshasa and proceeds to post a lengthy comment about how disgusting the toilets are at the train station in Newark. (Yeah, there'd be a specious connection.)

These accusations hurt. The fact that there's a pebble of truth to them is completely irrelevant.

Anyway, I decided it might be better to embrace my inner-Hijacker instead of wallowing in feelings of distress. After all, I'm certain this would prove much easier than actually moderating my behavior. But how to go about it? What would the ultimate Hijack look like?

Since you all know I'm a big fan of the mashup, (remember this? And that other thing I can't think of, but when you say you're a big fan of something, you'd better come up with at least two examples and then you can just claim you forgot to post a link?). Well anyway, here's my idea.

I put up a post labeled The Ultimate Hijack. That's the title. The body of the post just says, "...can be found here." And it's a link. It links to one of those blogs I discussed running across while using the "Next Blog" button feature of Blogger. And then in the comments section of that randomly chosen blog, you'd find a lengthy post in their comment thread that isn't even vaguely related to anything in the aforementioned blog. I promise I'd watch the language and I'd avoid any kid's blog or getting all ranty on some poor well meaning religious person's blog. In fact, I'd make sure that my post would be a complete Non-Sequitur as opposed to challenging anything about the blog I'd Hijack.

And the cool thing is, you guys would all go there giving some randomly chosen Confusee a whole new (temporary) audience. Maybe we could Digg-it and send the world.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.

The odds that I'll actually follow through and do something like this are really pretty slim...but the idea makes me laugh.

18 comments:

Steve Buchheit said...

I agree that I'm getting tired of all these people talking about how tired they are of the Democratic Party nominating process. Can't we just end the whine, let it go to the convention, see what happens instead of all this "I'm gonna hold my breathe until you acknowledge my candidate is the winner" crap?

Just getting into the spirit of things early.

Steve Buchheit said...

(the spurious connection is, "hijacking the thread/nomination)

Michelle K said...

My nice thing for the day was of the five candidates we interviewed for our GA position, we had three excellent candidates and a hard time deciding between the three.

That's so much better than the alternative.

Nathan said...

Steve,

Clearly, you require instruction. Please, allow you to take me under my wing.

The proper sequence would be to put in one...possibly two sentences directly related to the content of my post. Follow this up with..."Speaking of Hijacking, why are Obama and Clinton trying to hijack the process..."

For further creativity in the form, finish off with, "I invite you all to read {unrelated link} which proves conclusively that Oswald indeed participated in the 9/11 attacks."

This one's free. Further tutoring can be arranged for very competitive rates.

Janiece Murphy said...

In other news, Boogie the Giant Schnauzer has recently decided he no longer wishes to sleep in his crate at night, as he's been doing for his entire life. Instead, he desires to sleep on the futon in the library.

Nathan said...

OK,

Now I feel like a parent who curses like a sailor and then regrets it the first time the three-year-old says, "Fuck you Daddy!"

Bad BlogRats!

vince said...

I think that UCF hijacking is teh awesome, and the fact that we could all blame you, our illustrious leader, is even more teh awesome.

Speaking of Hijacking, I think it's time to give up on electing a president. What is needed is a dictator, and not just for us here in the States, but a worldwide dictator.

I mean, diotators can do whatever the hell they damn well please. History has shown this. And sometimes they are even great dictators, as opposed to asshats like Stalin and Hitler and Bush... oh, yeah, we elected him. Kinda. But then Hitler was originally elected.

Anyway, I think we all need to get behind Mad Mike and vote for him as world dictator.

According to Mad Mike:

"All men (and women) are not created equal. A large number of them are, in fact, morons.

Morons are why:

1, We have to have stupid disclaimers.
2. We can't have three wheel ATVs or lawn darts.
3. Some people want gun control.
4. We have to pay taxes for research into stupid things such as why stupid people don't realize they're stupid.
5. We have debates over, "Should I vote for Hillary based on gender or Obama based on race?" instead of over, "Which candidate will better represent my ideals?"

Mad Mike promises to fix this problem when he becomes dictator by feeding all the stupid people into logchippers and bombing entire nations of stupid people into the Stone Age.

Once his work is completed, he promises "I will abdicate in favor of a hot-looking redhead in leather and heels."

Join the fight! Stop the Stupid!
Vote evil and be proud!

Mad Mike for World Dictator in 2008! Because voting for the lesser evil has failed.

Michelle K said...

How does one got about determining how they truly look? I mean, if one has some form of body dysmorphic disorder, then the scales don't matter and looking in the mirror is futile.

Any suggestions?

And... er.... this is for a friend. Yeah, that's it.

Nathan said...

Vince,

Sorry, I can't get behind a Mad Mike ticket. I read the guy and I've liked more of it than not. When I didn't like one book, he and I traded a few emails and I came away thinking:

1. I still didn't agree with him.

2. I did believe his stated motivation and what he said he was trying to achieve (even though I still don't believe he achieved that).

3. He was an absolute gentleman willing to have a real conversation with someone who had problems with his book.

That said, I think he may have swallowed a little too much of his own KoolAid. :D

Just Sayin'.

vince said...

Well at least it wasn't Vox Day. :-)

Nathan said...

Mad Mike just drinks a little too much KoolAid. Vox if fucking nuts!

Bit diff.

Nathan said...

Big Diff.

D'oh!

Nathan said...

BTW everyone,

Tania's work-Nanny-Bots won't let her comment here from the job. So she and I are trading emails on the side.

She's all in favor of a Hijack.

Regarding said work-Nanny-Bot, she says it does allow her to comment on Making Light, Scalzi, and a few other places. I suggested that she can just respond to posts here on Making Light.

We'd know what it means.

Janiece Murphy said...

Please note that the FooeyU might have something to say about us getting behind another emperor, or dictator, or whatever.

And I would suggest that the first order of business for our new Emperor/Dictator is to publicly flog Vox Day.

Because I'm a barbarian, that's why.

Nathan said...

Update on Tania's difficulty with posting comments to some of our blogs. She is now responding to Janiece in the Making Light Open Thread #105.

Nathan said...

And Janiece,

FooeyU needs to stop upgrading and entertain me, dammit!

vince said...

Janiece, public flogging would be good. We could make a new reality show from it. We could call it "Flogging Asshats."

Michelle K said...

Speaking of entertaining... who is entertaining ME?!