Tuesday, April 15, 2008

It's Finally Time To Buy That Beach House In The Hamptons!


After much battling with the producers of 13th Child, The Legend of the Jersey Devil, The Directors Guild of America has forced them to cough up the residual checks they owe. As Unit Production Manager on that wonderfully successful motion picture (theatrical gross receipts-$0.00, Pay TV gross receipts-$11,319, DVD sales gross receipts-$29,817), I got a check today for my share of the residuals.


Maybe I'll buy beer instead.


Random Michelle K said...

Or a toaster.

vince said...

Or pizza.

Janiece said...


Eric said...

See, that's why you should have held out for points.


Nathan said...


Points are almost always based on net receipts, which can be proved to be zero on a movie that grosses 700 bazillion trillion dollars.

Eric said...

(Hence the winking emoticon. Also, the humor in the fact that it doesn't sound like any fancy-shmancy accounting is necessary to prove the net receipts on 13th Child are pretty close to zero based on your post.)

(So, yeah, I was trying to be funny but apparently had T3h Big Fail. Sorry.)

Eric said...

("Pretty close to zero" in the last post being more irony, since it sounds like the net receipts were negative.)

(Shutting up now.)

Nathan said...

actually, I think I got all of that.

I was just being a pompous ass.

You should never shut up here. You make me laugh.

When I'm not being a pompous ass.


Chris said...

Congrats Nathan. Why not use that check to buy some delicious Dominos pizza?

As an aside, someone actually made a movie about the Jersey Devil?! Why wasn't I informed about this? I'm always the last to know...

Nathan said...


Based on that whopping $40,000 gross receipts, you're certainly not the last to know. Seems to me there's a few million more viewers who know nothing about this.

On the bright side, I got to spend two months in beautiful Hammonton, NJ. I bet you've been through that gorgeous metropolis.